memento mori

and by the way

2012-01-22T03:48:00.000-08:00

it's still vince :)

i still love Loser. but i don't think i should call him that. because he's not a loser of any kind.

well we fight all the time because times have changed. we may break up sooner or later, i don't know when, but i don't want to wait for that anymore. why would you anticipate for a break up when you don't even want to leave the person you love?

relationship problems aside, issa is still in progress. still emo, i guess. nevertheless, still existing. :)

so i was thinking...

2012-01-22T03:16:00.000-08:00

maybe i should delete this blog.

re-reading all my posts here and in my wordpress blog depresses me. i don't know if i still feel the same way as i did before, but remembering how i used to be makes me feel so different now. definitely not more mature, but less immature. i don't know what vince would say to that haha :D

i'm just going to copy and paste this entry to my other blog. i have an account in tumblr, it's less depressing because it's more visual. be a friend, follow me, and go ask me some questions as an anon.

so, to make it official, this blog is officially on hiatus. i'll delete this when i become semi-famous so people won't have to emotionally blackmail me with the entries i posted here. that's IF i become semi-famous.

unwanted feelings

2011-01-11T18:07:00.000-08:00

battling unwanted feelings: insecurity, jealousy, and pointless hatred.

i feel like shit.

resurrection

2011-01-09T21:44:00.000-08:00

i was thinking whether or not i should continue this blog. i happened to run into an old friend's blog, and he was thinking the same thing. so, i might as well revive this blog while no one's still reading it :D

these days i'm often at the department, since i'm the new student assistant. there are actually more perks being an SA, especially if you're not a big fan of "hanging out with my friends." although it has taken away my precious library time (i haven't borrowed a single fiction book from the library ever since my SA duty.) but i still try to read some books i bought at Booksale.

i'm currently reading a film review blog.

ba't wala ako sa picture friends mo

2009-02-12T22:19:00.000-08:00

"ako pinicture-friend kita. tapos si ganito, ganyan, pinicture-friend ko rin. bat ako wala sa picture friends mo? ang sama mo talaga!"

(kaputahan number 978364587138451)

and then there was valentine's day.

2009-02-10T20:06:00.000-08:00

care to add something to this?

once upon a time..

2009-01-04T23:55:00.000-08:00

i fell in love..

...then everything else came falling apart too.

and then i died. because i just could not stop falling.

things i did on 2008

2008-12-26T18:10:00.000-08:00

nakaw'd from wence. late post.

Where did you begin 2008?
bahay

What was your status by Valentine's day of 2008?
probably close to sane

Did you have to go to the hospital?
to visit random people i wasnt really close to, yes

Did you have any encounters with the police?
ahmm...nope. fortunately

What did you purchase over $500?
none whatsoever. or at least none that i know of

Did you know anybody who got married?
knew. only knew. lots.

Did you know anybody who passed away?

yea...someone really close

What sporting events did you attend?
none that i really remember.

What concerts/shows did you go to?
2008? hmm.probably the most memorable would be thursday gig and muziklaban. thursday gig for the hell of a night and muziklaban for the vince moment

Where do you live now?
boarding house (aka isolation room)

Describe your birthday.
BORING.pero may mga awww factor

What's the one thing you thought you would never do but did?
hahahaha

Any new additions to your family?
? no

What was your best month?
definitely march

Who was your best drinking buddy?
WALA!

Made new friends?
yep. those from school.haha

Any regrets?
inevitable.

What do you want to change in 2009?
my life. my way of thinking.

Overall, how would you rate this year?
pass.

Have any life changes in 2008?
well someone changed my life

Get a new job?
i wish

How old did you turn this year?
17

Did anything embarrassing?
inevitable

Get married or divorced?
pass

Be honest - did you watch American Idol?
the david cook season, yea

Start a new hobby?
no new hobbies

Are you happy to see 2008 go?
well. 3 more years til the end of the world

Drank Starbucks in 2008?
yep.last moments with a friend

Been naughty or nice?
secret

What are you wishing for in 2009?
pass

Done something you've regretted?
i thought this question was asked a few moments ago

Lost someone?
....yea

Cut class?
never.hahaha

Was involved in something you'll never forget?
always involved, but never on purpose

Cooked a gross meal?
hahaha of course

Lost something important to you?
my sanity?

Got a gift you adore?
haha oo naman.

Tripped over a coffee table?
i can't remember which one...

Dyed your hair?
yep

Came close to losing your life?
yes.

Went to a party?
yep. even those which i wasnt invited to haha

Read a great book?
unbearable lightness of being :D

2008: FRIENDS AND ENEMIES

Did you meet any new friends this year?
yea.

Did you dislike anyone?
i always dislike anyone, only that i dont tell them right away.

Did you grow apart from anyone?
....yea

Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?
no not at all

2008: YOUR BIRTHDAY

Did you have a cake?
haha yup

Did you get any presents?
yup

2008: ALL ABOUT YOU

Did you change at all this year?
i suppose a part of me

Did you change your style?
more subtle and discreet than the other year

Were you in school?
yup

Did you have a job?
already answered this

Did you drive?
long story. technically,yes, but only for a few seconds

Did anyone close to you give birth?
no

Did you go on any vacations?
metaphysical, none

Would you change anything about yourself now?
for a good cause yes

2008: WRAP UP

Was 2008 a good year?
somehow

Do you think 2009 will top 2008?
no. it'll always be a crappy year to expect

so sure (attack of the e-word)

2008-12-12T23:21:00.000-08:00

haaaay...for vince. and a little for my parents too.

im not the most perfect person in the world
but at least i know it.

so sure, i could never compare myself to all the other prettier hotter girls out there
but the most i can do is to not give a flying fig

and i know i could never outsmart those who i know are far smarter and more intelligent than i
but i could always try

and sure, i may never have the most pleasing personality in all of mankind but at least i am myself.

you can talk bulshitt about me being insecure and all but the truth is i could never amount to anything else but myself. i am but myself, and that is all i can give. i am but myself, and that is all that my love can offer.

but the really painful thing in all of these is that you could never appreciate how much i try. that i still appear to be more or less insecure, even if i try not to. and because of this, i most often quietly release you from my awareness, your existence already of obsolescence. and once you have already noticed, you come begging and asking and telling me why you deserve this when you have done completely everything to make me smile, to make me feel loved, to make me love you back. and in the end, i become my once-discreet vulnerable self and take you back.

i wish i could let you know everything that bothers me. but thats the one thing i cant bear to do. you already know that i love you. you already know how much you mean to me. i can bombard you with romantic cliches all day and still end up lacking.

i wish i could make you feel loved. i wish i could make you feel proud. but what is there to be proud of? i am always trying. im really,really trying. its too bad that up to now i can still empathize with how much hurt you have had to endure with letting go those who have loved you more, those who you loved more.

but i think i can still manage. even if i'd be fantasizing all day of you making your big comeback with the one who misses you much, much more than i. its not that i dont miss you, really..its just that there's no reason for me to miss you, because you're always there. and feel like im not.

and this pang of jealousy that's feeding on my feelings for you?...this sucks.

haaay...i love you vince......

phack.

2008-11-07T01:14:00.000-08:00

sa sunod na lang...

Your Universe [High Quality] - Rico Blanco

and then

2008-10-24T20:34:00.000-07:00

he leaves without saying goodbye

and arrives without saying hello

...

2008-10-14T05:16:00.000-07:00

UPCAT the movie.

i can totally relate.

i am so in love right now T_T

2008-09-29T17:45:00.000-07:00

I don’t know why but I just am. I guess maybe later I’ll regret having to say this online, or maybe I’ll be proven wrong by fate or by chance, maybe I’m lying, and maybe he’ll unconsciously hurt me afterwards. Maybe i’m bored. Or maybe I need to get a life. Maybe I’m just kidding myself. I don’t know. I don’t care right now. Wait. I do care. I’m inlove. He’ll never get a chance to read this and he never will. And at this point some asshole might tell him later, or maybe no one would. then he’d find out how much I love him. And then I’ll hate him. i really hate myself when I show how vulnerable I am, even if it’s really obvious (to some who know me that much), but I know that I already hate myself for saying this. I. am. So. In. love. Right. now.

And maybe later I’ll find out that he’s running after someone else, or he already loves someone else. .probably someone less weird. less stupid. Less frustrated. Less depressed. less of everything issa. And I’ll end up hurt and depressed like I always do.

But I am so in love right now.

I might realize afterwards that he doesn’t really care. That everything here is all part of some stupid sympathy game. And I’ll be forever living in regret and ice cream. Plus nostalgia. If anyone would like to stop me right now, please do.

I am so in love right now I don’t even know how to end this.

Tomorrow it’ll all be another sad story.

P.S. code crackers, start cracking the code.

The one who gets to crack the code shall win self-contentment and an ounce of wasted brain cells. You get a bag of empathy though, if you’re lucky and miserable.

It’s so pointless I can’t believe I still love him after this.

what course i should take

2008-06-10T20:35:00.000-07:00

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU?

You scored as a English/Journalism/Comm

You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in Communication, English, Film, Journalism, Literature, or Writing.

It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it.

Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal.

French/Spanish/OtherLanguage

88%

English/Journalism/Comm

88%

Visual&PerformingArts

69%

Psychology/Sociology

63%

Religion/Theology

56%

History/Anthropology/LiberalArts

50%

Education/Counseling

44%

Physics/Engineering/Computer

31%

Accounting/Finance/Marketing

31%

Biology/Chemistry/Geology

25%

Mathematics/Statistics

19%

PoliticalScience/Philosophy

19%

HR/BusinessManagement

13%

Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health

-----

SEE?!?!?!?!
THAT'S WHY UP SHOULD PICK ME!

oh hello emo

2008-05-18T21:10:00.000-07:00

CALLING ALL BANDS!

2008-05-01T22:27:00.000-07:00

sana sana sana sa may 30 tumugtog kayo sa kaogma festival....it's like summerslam with 10% less barumbados...i think. haha

sana sana sana lang....mas ma-aappreciate ko talaga if the event organizers book more indie bands. kasi nabubulok na ang naga sa mga mas "sikat" na banda. bigyan nyo naman yung mga more worthy bands ng chance!

hay ambot

this sucks

2008-04-17T06:19:00.000-07:00

ang corny. ang dami-daming nangyari sakin tapos di ko naman kayang i-type lahat-lahat sa blog. i always end up answering surveys. i have no life. T_T

band name,album name, album cover. hahaha

2008-04-15T17:30:00.000-07:00

trying to ignore my problem.

survey stolen from sophie.

Instructions:

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.
2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.
3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

1. my band name is: Piedad Cordoba (senator in colombia..hahahaha)
2. "up liking each other" (WTH?)
3.

ahhh gets ko na. im a latino/a band who writes songs about freedom,justice, world peace etc etc...kinda like what U2 is doing right now...except they're not a latino band.

hmmm....works for me. haha

i tagged myself.

2008-04-04T09:25:00.000-07:00

because im lonely. hahahaha

Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves.

*Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their ten things and post these rules.

*At the end of your blog, you need to choose ten people to get tagged and list their names.

*Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

i dont want to tag anyone. tag yourself.

NUMBER ONE:

im a sucker for cds. buy me one and i'll cry, too moved to say thank you. im such a wuss.

NUMBER TWO:

i have anger management problems.

NUMBER THREE:

im parasomniac. or so they say. how the hell would i know, im asleep.

NUMBER FOUR:

i am proud of my name. issa. issa. issa. issa. it's a weird sucky name, but i love it. sabi daw it stands for "jesus." no comment.

NUMBER FIVE:

my dog's name is ramon-mamon. and it's a girl, that's why i added mamon. askal, but cute. let's wait for a few months and let's see if she's really cute. hahaha

NUMBER SIX:

im wearing red elastics for my braces.

NUMBER SEVEN:

i dance rock. hahahahha

NUMBER EIGHT:

i can marry karen o anytime. ANYTIME. or jared leto. wait. naaaaah karen o na lang.

NUMBER NINE:

i saw a dvd of maging sino ka man season 1. i swear to god i was planning to buy that dvd. hahahaha. poor me. that bored and desperate.

NUMBER TEN:

i want to spend the rest of my life staring at a blank wall, contemplating. but i can't.

stay away from me you mushy dork

2008-04-04T07:17:00.000-07:00

di p naman nagbabago si issa ha.

issa's still cynical. issa's still pessimistic. issa still reeks of sarcasm. issa is still that low self-esteemed weirdo. issa still wants to be left alone to daydream of a far better world and a far better life. issa still sucks at sports. issa still obsesses over going to faraway gigs
and album launches. issa still hates having to hang around with people who she thinks are a stupid waste of time. issa still gets occasional anger management problems. issa's still dead broke all the time. issa still loves (understatement) summer because it's the only longest period in time wherein she doesnt see everyone she sees in school. issa still reminisces about wasted moments in her life that may never, ever, ever happen again (i.e. tumbang preso gamit ang chucks at bote ng sanmig, ang only first at final kiss ki _____,.. aww,..good and horrible times..haha. peace tayo dyan) issa's still living in this great world called (anti-)depression and regret. issa still likes to spend time mourning and grieving..."emo mode" as they would like to call it. issa still cares for her friends a lot, no matter how untrue it sounds.
issa is still a lonely couch potato who watches reruns of FRIENDS, gets excited over the next episode of the O.C., awaits the death of the uber-perfect and hot hot hot marissa cooper, gets all tingly inside watching kate moening on the L word, talks, rants and philosophizes with her homer simpson figurine [ which she stole from her nephew.wahaha!] ,and considers an hour on natgeo or star chinese movies her "nap time." and yea, i also watch american idol, and it's stupid because it's so obvious that that david cook guy is fucking winning, they're just
wasting their time counting useless pathetic votes via sms and phone calls. AND HELLYEAH I THINK THAT 16-YEAR OLD [whose name i forgot...achuete someone?] IS A FAG.

ohgod i am so bored.

point is,
ISSA IS STILL ISSA...

or so she effing thinks.

kasi naman e! unang una, im not a sellout. hmph. i stayed here in naga longer than usual because i badly wanted to attend a friend's party which soon became a big regret since i never even got to taste a single drop of booze. see how i care for my friends a lot? still not working? hmph. oo nga namaaaaaaan...the whole time i was attending graduation and birthday parties, wala man lang nagpainum...

pangalawa, i did not turn mushy and all i-like-that-guy-a-lot-blah-blah-blah so stoppiiiiiiiiit. the reason why i wrote that entry was because i wanted to tell kim about it [in the most discreet,not-so-mushy way], not because i would like to be insulted and called names. ang corny nyo! and i am not an effing groupie or right-hand bitch! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! pag dating ko dyan lagot kayo sakin! basagan ng bote ala lex style! wahahhhahaha jowk

no one has made any attempt to change me anyway, so i say ISSA is,and will be, ISSA.

issa's inferno test

2008-02-28T23:19:00.000-08:00

Level	Who are sent there?	Score
Purgatory	Repenting Believers	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo	Virtuous Non-Believers	Very Low
Level 2	Lustful	High
Level 3	Gluttonous	High
Level 4	Prodigal and Avaricious	High
Level 5	Wrathful and Gloomy	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis	Heretics	Extreme
Level 7	Violent	Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge	Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus	Treacherous	High

Dante's Inferno Test - You Have Been Judged

Find a Girlfriend.

The wretched King Minos has decided your fate. His tale wraps around his body 7 times.

The sweet light no longer strikes against your eyes. Your shade has been banished to... the Seventh Level of Hell!

Seventh Level of Hell

Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assasins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment. The stench here is overpowering. This level is also home to the wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgement, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests. Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level.

-------

hahahahaha. notice the "find a girlfriend" link below the inferno test. MUHAHAHAHA indeed.

i have every personality disorder there is.

2008-02-28T23:05:00.000-08:00

Disorder	Rating	Information
Paranoid:	Very High	click for info
Schizoid:	Very High	click for info
Schizotypal:	Very High	click for info
Antisocial:	High	click for info
Borderline:	Moderate	click for info
Histrionic:	Moderate	click for info
Narcissistic:	High	click for info
Avoidant:	High	click for info
Dependent:	Moderate	click for info
Obsessive-Compulsive:	High	click for info

o sige

2008-02-28T22:36:00.000-08:00

pagod na talaga ako. parang nakakasawa na talagang makita lahat ng pare-parehong tao sa pare-parehong mga araw. hindi naman ganun kadali para lisanin ang naiilan na naging parte na ng buhay ko, kahit gaano ako ka-walangkwenta sa kanila. hindi naman sa ayoko na silang makita, pero na-fufrustrate lang akong masyado. siguro dahil pag namamataan kong magkaka-hiwa-hiwalay na kaming lahat at magsisimula sa isang panibagong kabanata sa buhay, wala pa rin akong pakialam. bakit nga ba napaka-apathetic kong tao? mali nga e, kasi nagagawa ko pang ma-frustrate dahil apathetic ako. o sa tingin ko lang, apathetic akong tao. nagkukunwari. pano nga ba kung may matira pa ditong "empathy?" yung pure empathy--hindi plastic, hindi masyadong ma-drama, hindi emo, hindi corny. yung may "issa-ness." pero pano ko naman madedefine ang empathy? ano bang alam ko?

at isa pa. yung mga taong galit sakin. hindi lang yung classmate ko. isasali ko na rin yung mga taong sinisisi ako sa nangyari noon. parang pagod na rin ako. normally, obligasyon ng nagkasala na humingi ng patawad. oo nga, nagawa ko na. kaso...

at sa mga taong binabalewala ko daw. hindi ko alam kung anong ibig sabihin nila. di ko nga alam kung sinu-sino yung mga binabalewala ko eh. ewan ko lang. sana malaman ko na.

para ngang hindi na ako aalis.

oscars or edsa rev? lets all give up now

2008-02-22T17:48:00.001-08:00

because thats what we do best. if it's not giving up, it's remembering. if it's not remembering, it's forgetting. let's all do that until we lose everything.

i choose to commemorate the edsa revolution. to hell with the oscars.
or maybe i should just sleep.
hahahaha
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
gahdgahdgahd i wanna graduate na! BAKIT ANG TAGAL?!?!

im glad that im at peace with almost everyone now. im glad i'll be leaving ateneo for good. im glad i wont see my classmates anymore when i go to college. im glad all the pressure is gone.

ang hirap nga maging optimist.

oscars or edsa rev? lets all give up now

2008-02-22T17:48:00.000-08:00

because thats what we do best. if it's not giving up, it's remembering. if it's not remembering, it's forgetting. let's all do that until we lose everything.

i choose commemorating the edsa revolution. to hell with the oscars.
or maybe i should just sleep.
hahahaha
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
gahdgahdgahd i wanna graduate na! BAKIT ANG TAGAL?!?!

im glad that im at peace with almost everyone now. im glad i'll be leaving ateneo for good. im glad i wont see my classmates anymore when i go to college. im glad all the pressure is gone.

ang hirap nga maging optimist.

hi friends! lets go plastic!

2008-02-19T13:40:00.000-08:00

If you read this journal, even if I don't speak to you often, post a memory of me.

It can be anything you want.

It can be good or bad, just so long as it happened.

Then post this on your journal too!

Be surprised (or not) about what people remember about you. :)

NARDA is...

2008-02-18T13:39:00.000-08:00

getting back together for one night March 6, 2008 at Cafe Saguijo.

go go go!!!

sayang di ako makapunta, graduation practices na yan eh.

pero YOU, YOU and YOU could go, and take gazillions of pictures, then make me envy you.

i know you want to make inggit, anyway.

KAYA GO GO GO!

GO NARDA GO!!!

I MISSSSS YOU!!!

who was your last

2008-02-12T22:38:00.000-08:00

got this from.. boysenswal, and from all the others who stole. yung kay sir niche sana,but i changed my mind. tinamad agad. haha

Rule 1:
If you opened this you GOTTA take it.

Rule 2:
You are NOT ALLOWED to explain
ANYTHING unless someone messages you
and asks

Rule 3:
Only answer truthfully

"Who was your last?"

LAST PERSON.

1.Had a beer with: kimpoi and vince. lang. KASI MARAMING SELL-OUTS. (sorry i really have to explain)

2.Went to the movies with? : gahd. eedj. months ago. tagal na nga eeeeeh. but we were only there for fifteen minutes. seriously.

3 .Went to the mall with?: hahaha. myself. i cant rememberrrrr! sina kimpoi ulit.

4.Talked on the phone with? bayantel operator.

5.Made you laugh? the jeepney driver, when he sneezed.

6.You hugged? josh!! and his super warm body!!!

7.You yelled at? : natividad. huhuhuhu T_T

WOULD YOU RATHER...?

1. Pierce your nose or tongue? nose.

2 Be serious or be funny? serious. serious is funny.

3 .Drink whole or skim milk?: whole milk. straight from the cow. YOWN.

4. Die in a fire or get shot? fire. FAYERRRR!!

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY...

1.Sun or moon? sun!

2. Winter or Fall? fall.

3. Left or right? LEFT!!!

4. Sunny or rainy? rainy.

5. Peach or Pear? peach (in a del monte can)

6. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? twirl

7. Do You Cook? and get scolded.

8. Current mood? yawr. ginagamit ang internet.

IN THE LAST WEEK HAVE YOU...

1. Kissed someone? noooooo

2. Sang? yep. horrible singer

3. Been hugged? yeayeayeah

4. Danced Crazy? hahahaha. not YET

5. Cried? T_T there.

is it me or is every band going for pogi rock these days?

2008-02-10T15:54:00.000-08:00

tsk.tsk.tsk.

maybe it's the weather.

i dont have a life because i've seen 116 movies,said the survey

2008-02-02T03:09:00.000-08:00

(i got 116. wow. i have no life)

If you've seen over 85 movies, you have
no life. Mark the ones you've seen.
There are about 170 movies on this
list.
Put your score in title and repost

(x) Sukob (didn't finish)
( ) Oh my ghost!
( ) White lady
(x) Wag kang lilingon (because i thought sib was going to be there. i never really saw him,anyway)
(x) Feng shui (seeing lotus feit,and imagining myself scaring the shit out of my sister with a costume like lotus feit's really made my day)
(x) KKK (kasal, kasali, kasalo) (i had to choose between watching that, or the manny pacquiao match. im sorry, im really not a fan of boxing)
( ) Enteng Kabisote
( ) Enteng Kabisote 2
( ) Enteng Kabisote 3
( ) Super Noypi
( ) Karma
( ) Shake, Rattle and Roll
( ) D Anothers
( ) First Day High

Total: 4

(x) Bring it On 1 (cheerleading. haha)
( ) Bring it On 2
( ) Bring it On 3
(x) Fun With Dick and Jane (another haha. jim carrey is hilarious! ==> understatement? go figure.)
( ) Cake
( ) Zathura
(x) Borat (yesireeee. i am totally crushing on her girlfriend, whose name i forgot.)
(x) Dead or Alive (i liked sophia bush there...so scene)
(x) 8 mile (didnt finish)
(x) 50 First Dates (adam sandler eh.)
(x) The Princess Diaries (oohyea. annie's i-wish-i-were-her movies eh)
(x) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement (again, annie's fault)
(x) Legally Blonde (haha. reese witherspoon)
(x) Legally Blonde 2 (im still waiting for legally blonde 3 btw)

Total: 10

(x) Charlie's Angels (dylan kicks ass!)
(x) Charlie's Angels 2 (dylan kicks more ass part 2!)
( ) Dude, where's my car?
(x) Scary Movie (anna feris/faris is craaaaaazy)
(x) Scary Movie 2 (anna feris/faris is craaaaaazy part 2)
( ) Scary Movie 3
(x) Scary Movie 4 (less funnier, but nice casting)
(x) American Pie (haha)
(x) American Pie 2 (less haha)
(x) American Wedding (thrice haha)
(x) American Pie Band Camp (less haha,more wtf)

Total: 9

(x) Harry Potter (now that i think of it, HP is so....)
(x) Harry Potter 2 (hmm...baka may ma-offend)
(x) Harry Potter 3 (hehe. nevermind)
(x) Harry Potter 4 (this one, i haven;t watched in full, but i like the movie. alfonso cuaron eh)
(x) Resident Evil 1 (blah)
( ) Resident Evil 2
( ) The Wedding Singer
(x) Cinderella Man (renee zellwegger's accent here is cool)
(x) The Village (yey!)
(x) Coyote Ugly (haha. loser)

Total: 8

(x) Space Jam (hahaha. michael jordan yo)
(x) Finding Neverland (johnny depp will you marry me)
(x) Signs (genius)
(x) The Grinch (issa=grinch)
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(x) White Chicks (hahahaha. think paris and nicole's stupidity caught on tape)
( ) Little Manhattan
(x) 13 Going on 30 (awww)
(x) Click (hahaha adam sandler)
(x) Devil Wears Prada (hehe)

Total: 8

(x) Mighty Ducks 1 (yea..nung 90's ito yung madalas na pinapalabas sa hbo)
(x) Mighty Ducks 2 (and now that i realized it, ang loser ko for watching hockey movies)
(x) Mighty Ducks 3 (i mean, no one would wanna play hockey in the philippines right?)
( ) Mighty Ducks 4
(x) Deep Impact (yey!)
( ) KingPin
(x) Meet The Parents (hahahaha)
(x) Meet the Fockers (OA a bit, but still funny)
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
(x) Joe Dirt (hahahaha astig nito)
(x) Anaconda (yea. sadly. i feel a bit embarrassed)

Total : 8

(x) Alice in Wonderland (DISNEY,HELLO?)
(x) The Terminal (cute.)
(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie (hilary duff. bleh)
( ) Deep Blue Sea
(x) Dumb & Dumber (hahha)
(x) Dumber & Dumberer (hahaha-er and hahahaha-er)
(x) Final Destination (ang ganda ng story eh)
(x) Final Destination 2 (ang ganda pa rin ng story)
(x) Final Destination 3 (nakakasawa na yung story, but rollercoaster loveeeee)
( ) Halloween
(x) The Ring (sadako didnt make me sleep for 7 days, swear)
(x) The Ring 2 (di n masyadong nakakatakot)
( ) Ring Zero
(x) Flubber (hahahaha.cute!)
( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic (hehe. im a frustrated witch)
(x) Chicago (yey)
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
(x) Hellboy (hahahaha)
(x) Secret Window (johnny depp will you marry me)
(x) I Am Sam (*cries*)

Total : 16

(x) The Day After Tomorrow (booooring.)
(x) Child's Play (chucky!)
(x) Seed of Chucky (i..am..chucky)
(x) Bride of Chucky (nestle...chucky)
(x) 10 Things I Hate About You (rip heath ledger)
( ) Just Married
(x) Gothika (psycho-thriller yo)
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street (yey!)
(x) Sixteen Candles (hahahaha)
( ) Remember the Titans
(x) Coach Carter (yey)
(x) The Grudge (hahahaha)
(x) The Grudge 2 (hahahahahah 2)
( ) The Mask
(x) Son Of The Mask (boo)

Total: 12

(x) My Super Ex-Girlfriend (corny)
( ) Joy Ride
(x) She's the Man (hahahaha)
(x) Ocean's Eleven (brad pitt)
(x) Ocean's Twelve (brad pitt, but same old shit like last time)
(x) Mean Girls (the movie that made rachel mcadams)
( ) Step Up
(x) Pearl Harbor (*sleeps*)
( ) Predator I
( ) Predator II
(x) Superstar (HAHAHAHA. WILL FERRELL!!!)
(x) Happy Feet (educational,cute, and all that shiznit)
(x) Ice Age (hahahaha)
(x) Ice age 2 The Meltdown (same old same old)

Total: 10

(x) Independence Day (yesiree)
( ) Cujo
(x) Idle Hands (funny)
( ) Darkness Falls
(x) Children of the Corn (THIS IS MYMOST FAVORITE STEPHEN KING NOVEL)
( ) My Boss' Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan (boring)
(x) Monsters Inc. (predictable)
(x) Rush Hour (ok lang)
(x) Rush Hour 2 (better than the first)
( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (cute)
(x) She's All That (hahaha)
( ) Poseidon
(x) Titanic (every night in my dreams..i see you i feeeeeel youuuu)
(x) Mars Attacks (hahahahaha)
( ) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After (da vinci was there)
(x) Forrest Gump (cute)
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
(x) The Terminator (the movie that made arnold scakjhwgfbwagwager)
(x) The Terminator 2 (same same)
( ) The Terminator 3

Total : 15

(x) X-Men (geek)
(x) X-Men 2 (dork)
(x) X-Men 3 (OA na)
(x) Spider-Man (gahd)
(x) Spider-Man 2 (gahd 2)
(x) Sky High (hahahaha corny)
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can (galing)
( ) The Others
( ) The Eye
( ) Dark Water
(x) Cruel Intentions (hot)
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
(x) The Hot Chick (haha)
(x) Shrek (haha)
(x) Shrek 2 (haha 2)

Total : 11

( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle
(x) School of Rock (YOWN)
( ) K-Paxx
( ) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship
of the Ring
( ) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
( ) Lord of the Rings: The Return of
the King
(x) A Walk To Remember (*cries* hahaha. the movie that made mandy moore)
(x) Hollow Man (hahahahaha)
( ) The 40-year-old-virgin
(x) The Exorcist (YEY)
(x) Exorcism of Emily Rose (yown)

Total: 5

Add up all the scores. [116]

Repost: I've seen ___ movies out of
170.

naiihi

2008-01-29T04:42:00.000-08:00

ayun. gustong tapusin ang lecheng research paper. linalamon ng katamaran, at siyempre, pilit na linalabanan. kakampi ko ang puyat, asawa ko ang kape. kalaban ko ang daan-daang mga papel na nakakalat sa sahig, tila hinahamon ako sa isang walangkwentang paligsahan: isusulat ko ang mga nakaukit na salita at lantarang gagayahin, paspasan ang pagt-type na para bang hindi sadya't at napasubo lang sa isang maliit na inosenteng pagkakamali.

pero ayoko. ayoko. ayoko.

ANO BAAAAAAAAAA.

GUSTO KO NANG MAG-PLAGIARIZE!!!!!!!!!!

P.S.

make them furkin chipmunks stop singing! i dont care if they sound cute or look cuddly. they need to have voice lessons!

goodbye YM

2008-01-19T05:57:00.000-08:00

because of the virus, and because of the terrible internet speed,i couldnt reinstall YM in this laptop anymore. so....goodbye YM! too lazy to keep reinstalling, and i dont know much about computers and viruses. i dont even know if i should react positively or negatively, since i dont like chatting anymore (because of the moron who sent me the virus, and the other moron who kept telling me about things that i dont want to hear anymore), but i still want to chat (because i could rely to my contacts on printing matters, hehe. gig skeds and updates,and chatting with open-minded people is very therapeutic. i guess. well at least most of the time i either end up thinking/reflecting or laughing).

ohwell. this laptop says goodbye to YM. for now, i guess.

goodbye YM

2008-01-19T05:55:00.000-08:00

because of the virus, and because of the terrible internet speed,i couldnt reinstall YM in this laptop anymore. so....goodbye YM! too lazy to keep reinstalling. i dont know if i should react positively or negatively, since i dont like chatting anymore (because of the moron who sent me the virus, and the other moron who kept telling me about things that i dont want to hear anymore), but i still want to chat (because i could rely to my contacts on printing matters, hehe. gig skeds and updates,and chatting with open-minded people is very therapeutic. i guess. well at least most of the time i either end up thinking/reflecting or laughing)

ohwell. my laptop says goodbye to YM. for now, i guess.

ADMU-ABLIT

2008-01-05T06:59:00.000-08:00

passed!

(and i dont know why.)

random

2008-01-01T07:26:00.000-08:00

haaaay. first i was listening to some daft punk songs, then yeahyeahyeahs, and minutes after i found myself listening to sugarfree. and...sugarfree makes these tamang-sapul songs wherein you'd think every song in every album of theirs is the soundtrack of your life. sugarfree just hits it right there. then i got all emo, so i started typing about something emo. and then i deleted it after, thinking it would be useless anyway. and then up dharma down songs were playing, and then i became terribly terribly sad. updharma, like sugarfree, for me, makes these really sad songs that seek for optimism and refuge, and listening to them just makes me feel so dowwwwwwwwwn.

and it sucks,because it's the beginning of a new year,its freakin cold, my feet are almost dead, im grounded, and broke.

JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THINGS WERE GOING TO BE FINE AND DANDY...

(and i guess they wont, since i just typed dandy. who types 'dandy' without sounding pathetic?)

ebe dancel, payakap.

hey ma, our country's famous!

2007-12-29T19:12:00.000-08:00

britney spears' new single piece of me:

I'm miss "American Dream"
Since I was 17
Don't matter if I step on the scene
Or sneak away to the Philippines
They still got pictures of my derriere in the magazine
You want a piece of me?
You want a piece of me?

----

hahahahahahah thanks lotz for the info. vote britney spears for president of the philippines hahahaha

what's happening?

2007-12-29T17:29:00.000-08:00

can you guess what's happening? read the paragraph :D this is an excerpt from a book i wont mention yet. to those who already know, ssshhhh! this devotchka will kick you in the yarbles and viddy tolchock you with my rookers, you! :D

--------------------------

'Now for the other veshch, Bog help us all.' So he did the strong-man on the devotchka, who was still creech creech creeching away away in very horrorshow four-in-a-bar,locking her rookers from the back, while I ripped away at this and that and the other, the others going haw haw haw still, and real good horrorshow groodies they were that then exhibted their pink glazzies, O my brothers, while I untrussed and got ready for the plunge. Plunging, I could slooshy cries of agony and this writer bleeding veck that Georgie and Pete held on to nearly got loose howling bezoomny with the filthiest of slovos that I already knew and others he was making up. Then after me it was right old Dim should have his turn, which he did in a beasty snorty howly sort of way with his Peebee Shelley maskie taking no notice, while I held on to her. Then there was a changeover,Dim and me grabbing the slobbering writer veck who was past struggling really, only just coming out with slack sort of slovos like he was in the land in a milk-plus bar, and Pete and Georgie had theirs. Then there was like quiet and we were full of like hate, so smashed what was left to be smashed-typewriter,lamp,chairs--and Dim, it was typical of old Dim, watered the fire out and was going to dung on the carpet, there being plenty of paper, but I said no. 'Out out out out,' I howled. The writer veck and his zheena were not really there, bloody and torn and making noises. But they'd live.

-------------------

there's a fruitcake for everybody....

2007-12-24T07:06:00.000-08:00

fruitcakes are disgusting. seriously. i cant imagine myself eating it without having to throw it up and giving it to annie's pathetic dog.

christmas=boring.

the only time it became exciting was when a few days ago, our christmas tree almost burned to death. and hell yeah, christmas trees also have lives and feelings. anyway, my mom was panicking and all. stupid me was shouting "TUUBIIIIGGG!!!" haahahahah. apparently the electric wire of the glue gun effed up.

sarah and annie ran out of the house to save their lives rather than to save the house...and the CHRISTMAS TREE!!! i was running around the house in hysterics, shouting "TUUUBIIIIG!!!" like i said. in the end my mom got rid of the fire via a washcloth or something.

"TUUUBIIIIIG!!!"

giving gifts=promoting materialism

everyone knows santa claus aint real nowadays. kids are looking for more money,more techy stuff,more ways to look good for their friends. more ways to look older. more ways to look smarter. its stupid,frustrating and annoying. cant you all just be innocent brats who'll run around, eat food without using forks and spoons and brainwash yourselves with dora the explorer or spongebob squarepants?!?!

tsktsk. back in the day....(this is when issa starts to reminisce and age 500 years older)

being bored=resorting to manic-depressive state

what the hell. im tired of thinking too much. i should probably answer a survey.

issoemo

2007-12-15T21:18:00.000-08:00

It’s not the usual crush, like being proud to shout “I heart you” or “I crush you.” It’s not a sort of admiration either, because…i don’t know what to admire in her. It’s the kind of crush wherein you feel happy (secretly or discreetly) just sitting beside her, someone who you’d end up writing in your diary or journal or whatever, talking to her and wanting to hold her hand even for five minutes or more, and sometimes staring at her as she rants about her miserable life and just…wanting to kiss her.

So, it’s not the usual crush—for me. I mean, I never really expected to have a don’t-tell-anyone crush…(maybe I can name this one fudge crush, after my friend’s undying crush…or love…for someone who looks like someone who you’d be obliged to tell her, ”you have a crush on him?!?! But he’s…not crush-worthy!!”) after having an ever-so tragic life, I never thought I would feel the same way I felt for him before he died. And what’s more odd is that I’m fudge-crushing on a girl. I usually never take girls seriously especially when I’m in a relationship. Like, erotically serious relationship with them only…not romantic epidemic serious. And besides, I usually run after (hot) girls online. But this one…is personal…a friend...

Just yesterday I got the chance to spend time with her,walking around centro, discussing on things that she thinks matters. And…I was so unusually overwhelmed., it brought me back to a lot of memories, but with a different guy…the guy I lost. I felt like I was with him. I had loads of fun talking to her. I don’t know if she feels the same way when she talks to me…but she was just amazing.

i usually keep this kind of feeling, but then I really really wanted to write this down. I really get “kilig” and all stupid-shy when I remember yesterday…trust me, this crush thing is really stupid and annoying. I’d be in a trance for several minutes and find myself fucking smiling.

Haaaayyyy……..i just wish she felt the same way. I hope by Monday she’ll sit beside me and talk to me about anything

gahd this blog sounds like a kim adriano blog.

chin-chin gutierrez fans club

2007-12-12T13:48:00.000-08:00

woooooooooot!

we heart you chin chin!

especially when you say your lines on maging sino ka man and act like the meanest bitch in town,we are LITERALLY blown away.

chin chin gutierrez fans club are:

issa

sarah

inno

kat

annie

pao

cha irene

leleng

jer

kuya nik

...

i have to admit i still have that copy of the ccp program with her name signed on it...it's four years old now... and i am damn proud!

hahhahahahahaha

and to anyone watching maging sino ka man, im sorry to tell you that there are no sam-and-the-other-guy sex scenes. yea, i was quite disappointed too.

write-up for the yearbook

2007-11-27T13:55:00.000-08:00

"We tolerate what is wrong because it is common."

-John Doe (Kevin Spacey), Seven

dont you all agree? pinapatamaan ko yung mga conformists!

*of course there's an explanation...idadagdag ko na lang dun sa papel.

gaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhd i wanna look like that girl in sweeny todd...yung role ni helena bonham carter..(the luckiest wife in the world)

what's the solution?

2007-11-21T13:43:00.000-08:00

i am really pissed off..

i have always been told by my former teacher that it is alright to have a different solution to any problem as long as you arrive at the same answer. yes, im talking about mathematics right now, but you can also have a deeper meaning to it. im not in the mood for philosophical bullshit though (later, i will regret and blame myself for just typing "philosophical bullshit," im sorry, philosophy!!) anyway..there.

i had a different solution, but the same answer. i was told by my teacher to change the answer. he even yelled at me because i couldn't write the right method, since i was forced to write another solution.

i dont get it. how come i have to take another path when i already have one of my own? why did i have to follow him even if i knew i dont even know what i was going to answer because my own solution was entirely different from his? was it because he was scaring the shit out of me and therefore making me pee in my own pants due to nervousness? is this what mathematics should be training students--conforming to a standard method or solution?

we'll all arrive at the same answers, yes. but getting through the same solution...i cant work that way. we all have different solutions to a problem. some are wrong, some are right. if a self-help book tells us some self-help crap and everyone follows it so they would easily solve a problem, i dont think they'll arrive at the correct answer. and if everyone arrives at the wrong answer, who will be able to solve it? the self-help writer who was wrong in the first place?

of course it's the person who wrote a different solution on the board. (but still gets yelled at because even arriving at the same answer with the thats-not-how-to-solve-that solution is wrong.)

this is the problem.

shit. that was a paradox.

re-teeth

2007-11-20T14:22:00.000-08:00

backstabbers.

yan yuzon's spongecola and pupil "masa" story

2007-11-20T14:19:00.000-08:00

*copied from pupil's mailing list. kung may nagalit kasi pinost ko, say so...para ma-delete ko kaagad. yan yuzon wrote this, not me. (thats why may sense yung mababasa nyo)

i was talking to this dormer from ilo-ilo, who was asking me about band stuff.

i said: kapatid ko si yael, sa spongcola. do you like SC?

sabi niya: dati, gusto ko ng SC. kaso after gemini, ayoko na. but i'm a pupil fan, kasi ang pupil, tunog kalye, ang SC, hindi na.

ako: bakit, ano ba ang tunog kalye?

siya: yung tipong puwede mong gitarahin sa kanto habang nag-iinuman.

natawa ako dito. and then i had two points to make.

ako: that's a matter of unexamined perception. 1) how well do you know our music? actually, turns out the guy doesn't even have any of our albums. :) so i go: if you've got none of our albums, it goes to show that you're saying you're our fan cause it's the cool thing to say. i ask, "do you know what 'auf weifersehn' means?" and he says: "nope". well, it's a piece of lyric in a pupil song ("all this time") and it's in german. so siguro nga, tama ka, tunog-kalye nga kami--in germany, maybe! hahaha dahil kahit saang kalye ka tumambay sa pilipinas, wala kang maririnig na "sige, tol, lakad na 'ko, auf wiedersehn." <--i can't even spell it. tunog kalye daw, ulul!

2) the truth is, sabi ko sa kanya, ayaw mo ng SC dahil gusto sila ng masa, at ikaw ay isang dormer sa ateneo, at aatakihin ka muna sa puso bago mo aminin na gusto mo ang music na gusto din ng higit na maraming tao na sa palagay mo ay masa or mas mababa sa 'yo, dahil isa kang snob na atenista--and i know this cause i've been an atenean all my life. :) at gusto mo sila before gemini, dahil all that time long ago, ateneo band community naman talaga ang support ng SC. kaso nag-click na sila sa "masa" (masa according to who else, but the snotty
rich kids) after gemini, so ayaw na sila ng "elite".

malayong mas tunog kalye ang SC kaysa sa pupil. actually, kelangan mo ng mga limang gitara na tadtad sa effects bago mo matugtog ang kanta ng pupil, i'm the guitar player and i can't even play all of my shit live. sponge cola (armo and yael) uses three of four guitar tracks
with ditortion and some chorusing; i use an average of 4 guitar trax PER SONG (wala pa 'yung guitars ni ely, ha) and i use a wah, an octaver, distortion/overdriv e, chorus, flanger, delay and a pitch shifter--sino kaya mas tunog kalye sa amin? all my equipment alone is
more expensive than sponge's entire rig!

ako: pero sasabihin mong tunog-kalye ang pupil, kasi cool sabihin 'yun. kasi akala mo, nakaka-identify ka sa masa, when nothing can be further from the truth. meron lang radio and music channels, and these forces are strong enough to make an english song a "masa" hit
(e.g. the day you said goodnight by hale). it can even make a mandarin song a "masa" hit (e.g. that F4 song again).

sabi ko: bottomline, ang pinakamadaling gawin ay isang masa hit. all you have to do is turn on the TV and rip off the song that's currently number 1 on the myx chart.

but if we did this, HOW WILL PHILIPPINE MUSIC PROGRESS? paano mawawala 'yung 'O' sa 'OPM'? bakit kelangan sabihing original philippine music, dahil ba merong copied philippine music (CPM?)? wala namang original british music di ba? or original american music?

how can anything new come from our music tradition if songwriters and musicians will veer away from their honest impulses just to make sure they hit number one?

masayang sumikat at mag-number one. pero mas masayang maabot ito ON YOUR OWN TERMS.

bottomline, in pupil, we make music for ourselves--hindi para sa masa, hindi para maituring na tunog-kalye, hindi para maituring na tunog-foreign, hindi para sa mga elitista, hindi para sa mga elYtista, :) because, and this is the bottomline: KELANGAN NAMIN
MAGING MASAYA!!!!! :)

feel free to comment.*

y

(if you want to comment, go to pupil's mailing list. pero pwede na rin dito.haha)

(eto pa pala..bago sya nagpost ng tungkol dyan, may prelude:)

gusto niyo ng masa? gawa kayo ng mga mala-boom tarat tarat. o, ayaw
niyo?

i like boom tarat tarat, although something tells me that you don't.
something tells me na nababaduyan kayo kay lito camo, kahit na siya
dapat ang idol niyo kung talagang gagawa kayo ng kantang masa... why
do i have this feeling? beacuse you are in the PUPIL mailing list. at
napakalayo ng tunog ng pupil sa tunog ni lito camo. :)

guys, you have to realize this: ayaw ng masa na tawagin silang masa.
nangampanya si erap sa pagkapangulo, at ang slogan niya ay para sa
masa. if 70% of filipinos live below the poverty line, how come he
won with a lot less than 70% of the total vote?

convenience ng mga may-kaya ang tawaging "masa" ang masa. other
convenient terms are: "mahihirap" "mga simpleng tao" "mga jologs"
etc. ang gumagamit ng terms na ito ay 1) mayayaman at maykaya, at 2)
ang masa--but reffering to others, not to themselves.

aspiration is a very human quality, people do not want to be
identified with the lower class. even if they are actually part of
the lower class in terms of income and status, gagawa sila ng paraan
para makaangat. magke-cable sila at mag-iinternet. mag-iipon sila
para sa high-end na cellphone. etc, etc.

more on this later. you will realize that marketing has more to do
with kung ano ang pang-masa o hindi than the actual product.

y

---------------------

sana may natutunan kayo.

-issa.haha

so that's why i crush ping medina!!!

2007-11-15T13:53:00.000-08:00

he looks like gael garcia-bernal! gael garcia-bernal! gael garcia-bernal! gael garcia-bernal! gael garcia-bernal!

hahahahahaha saying his name is like having an orgasm

gael garcia-bernal!

i am not exactly obsessed with music

2007-11-08T14:19:00.000-08:00

Check the bands you like or heard of.
Don't lie.

-it said like OR heard of.

ALTERNATIVE:
[X] Breaking Benjamin
[X] Paramore
[X] Panic! At The Disco
[X] Linkin Park
[ ] The Academy Is...
[X] Coldplay
[ ] Three Days Grace
[X] Yellowcard
[X] 30 Seconds to Mars
[ ] Chevelle
TOTAL SO FAR= 7

COUNTRY:
[ ] Rascal Flatts
[X] Carrie Underwood
[X] Leanne Rhymes
[ ] Garth Brooks
[X] Dixie Chicks
[ ] Kenny Chesney
[ ] Tim McGraw
[X] Faith Hill
[X] Shania Twain
[X] Johnny Cash
TOTAL SO FAR= 6

EMO:
[ ] Hawthorne Heights
[ ] Chiodos
[ ] Forgive Durden
[ ] Amber Pacific
[X] The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
[X] From First to Last
[ ] Senses Fail
[ ] Underoath
[ ] Something Corporate
[ ] Hit The Lights
[ ] Dear Whoever
TOTAL SO FAR= 2

INDIE:
[X] The Hush Sound
[ ] Eisley
[X] Death Cab for Cutie
[X] Dashboard Confessional
[X] The Killers
[X] Yeah Yeah Yeahs
[X] Hot Hot Heat
[X] Gym Class Heroes
[X] Franz Ferdinand
[X] Modest Mouse
TOTAL SO FAR= 9

METAL:
[X] Slipknot
[X] System of a Down
[X] Disturbed
[X] Metallica
[X] Guns n' Roses
[ ] Lamb of God
[X] Slayer
[ ] Hatebreed
[ ] Killswitch Engage
TOTAL SO FAR= 6

POP:
[X] Teddy Geiger
[X] Ashlee Simpson
[X] Kelly Clarkson
[X] Jesse McCartney
[X] Avril Lavigne
[X] Pink
[X] The Veronicas
[X] Daniel Powter
[X] James Blunt
[X] Natasha Bedingfield
[X] Ryan Cabrera
TOTAL SO FAR= 11

POWERPOP/PUNK:
[ ] Hellogoodbye
[X] Cute is What We Aim For
[ ] Cartel
[X] The Click Five
[X] Fall Out Boy
[X] Rise Against
[X] Good Charlotte
[X] Bowling for Soup
[X] Relient K
[ ] Anti- Flag
[X] Simple Plan
TOTAL SO FAR= 8

RAP:
[ ] Ying Yang Twins
[ ] T.I.
[ ] Paul Wall
[X] 2pac
[X] Jamie Foxx
[X] Ludacris
[ ] Lil' Jon
[X] Outkast
[X] 50 Cent
[X] Kanye West
[ ] Notorious B.I.G
[ ] Young Jeezy
[X] Eminem
TOTAL SO FAR= 7

SKA:
[ ] Reel big fish
[X] The Specials
[X] Mad Caddies
[X] Rancid
[ ] The Aquabats
[X] Sublime
[X] No Doubt
[X] Madness
[X] Operation Ivy
[X] Bob Marley
TOTAL SO FAR= 7

ROCK:
[X] Taking Back Sunday
[X] All American Rejects
[X] Motion City Soundtrack
[X] Avenged Sevenfold
[X] Angels and Airwaves
[X] Evanescence
[X] My Chemical Romance
[ ] Drowning Pool
[X] Green Day
[X] Blink 182
[X] Madina Lake
TOTAL SO FAR=i dont wanna count anymore

CLASSIC ROCK:
[X] The Beatles
[X] Led Zeppelin
[X] The Rolling Stones
[X] The Cure
[X] The Who
[X] Pink Floyd
[X] Jimi Hendrix
[X] Queen
[X] Van Halen
[ ] Poison
[X] AC/DC
TOTAL SO FAR=dunno

multiply your answer by 2
then repost with: "I am __ obsessed with music"

TELL A FRIEND. :)

nakakatamad magbilang.

tag-o tag-o-an

2007-11-08T14:09:00.000-08:00

third tagged me.

thanks third!!!

Rules:

- Pick your birth month.
- Bold the five-ten that best apply to you. (I picked five. haha.)
- Copy to your own journal
- Tag 12 people from your friends list.

______________________________________________________________________________

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary Spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily Jealous. Observant. Careful and Cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent Thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to Dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Loving and caring. Romantic. Loves to make Friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people's mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and cool. Sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and relaxation a lot. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

---

i will tag anyone who wants to be tagged.

ONE MINUTE SILENCE for ANYONE READING

2007-11-08T13:28:00.000-08:00

Let us offer one minute of silence for the soul of Marianet Amper, the Grade 5 pupil of Davao City who hanged herself because she cannot bear the hardship of being poor and not being able to attend school.

Filled with despair at her poverty-stricken life in a shack, an 11-year-old girl wrote in a diary how she wished for new shoes and jobs for her parents – then slipped a rope around her neck and hanged herself.

Little Mariannet Amper left the diary and a letter under her pillow, discovered when her shocked parents found her dangling on a thin nylon rope from a beam in their plywood shack near Davao City, 600 miles south of the Philippines capital of Manila.

The sad case of the schoolgirl who could no longer face the shame and deprivation of life in the slums has highlighted the millions who live in squalor on less than 50p a day in the northern Pacific nation.

In the letter, Mariannet said she wished only for a bicycle, bag, new shoes and jobs for her parents so she could finish primary school.

Scroll down for more ...

Mariannet, pictured here with younger brother Reynauld

And in her diary the girl, whose family live in a flimsy hut that has no running water or electricity, told how she missed school and did not even have the money to go to church.

Her grief-stricken father, Isabelo Amper, 49, a jobless construction worker, said Mariannet had asked him for 100 pesos (£1) which she needed for school projects.

"I told her I did not have the money, but I would ask my wife if she could get it for her," he said. "The next morning I was able to get a small cash advance but by the time I got home Mariannet was dead."

As he and his stunned wife, Magdalena, went through their daughter's pathetic belongings they came across the letter and the diary.

In an entry for October 5, she wrote, in a reference to school: "It feels as if we've been absent for a month. They're not counting my absences any more. I just realised that Christmas is just around the corner."

Isabelo recalled that in that week Mariannet skipped school as they did not have money for her food and transport.

"We didn't have any money and I didn't want Mariannet and her younger brother, Reynald, to walk to school," he said.

On October 14, Marianet wrote: "We were not able to hear mass because we did not have fare money and my dad was sick with fever. So, my mom and I just washed clothes."

In the letter she left, Mariannet wrote a "wish list".

"I wish for new shoes, a bag and jobs for my mother and father. My dad does not have a job and my mom just gets laundry jobs.

"I would like to finish my schooling and I would like very much to buy a new bike."

Fighting back tears, Isabelo said: "We never knew that our daughter had dreams for us." His wife, he said, worked only part-time, earning just 25p a day packing noodles, supported by a further 50p earned doing laundry jobs.

"As for me, I can't get work," said Isabelo. "I'm already old. No-one would want to hire me."

The couple, who live in a hillside shanty town, are now left with only their young son Reynald. Five other children are in their teens and twenties and have started families of their own – again in slum areas.

A neighbour said of them: "The Amper family are always being discriminated against. They're poor, the kids are dirty and the other kids don't want to play with them. Because they're very poor, they've been rejected by their neighbours."

The tragic case came to light on the day President Gloria Arroyo told a business forum that her economic changes were bearing fruit.

"The common people are now feeling the benefits of a growing economy," she said.

But the Social Weather Stations institute, which monitors the poor, said that some nine million Filipino families rated themselves poor and many of those experienced "severe hunger" in recent months.

And for a shamed little girl who hanged herself with a nylon rope in a shack, government assurances meant nothing.

=====================================

it's like jonas burgos all over again...i feel so sad =[[[[[[[[

chicoshite?!

2007-11-05T13:49:00.000-08:00

okay...i saw a shirt with the word "chicoshite" written on it. in fairness...it was a really good shirt. i even thought it was a shirt from branded. if only i had a camera at that time.... some dude was wearing it. white shirt. design: black roses and then blood splatter or something tapos sa likod christ fingers na maliit. somehow i wanted to ask him where he bought it. haaay. if anyone knows where to buy that shirt...because i want a shirt like that too., PM me. i dont think it was custom-made because it had a really fine print. or maybe it was...

maybe that dude was a chicosci-hater...hmm...

but "chicoshite" is catchy as hell. and funny, too.

maybe i'll make a shirt like that one too...hahah

let your zodiac sign define you!

2007-11-04T16:14:00.000-08:00

according to these, im a whore. stolen from kuya jairo, kuya obi at sa lahat ng mga nagnakaw.

VIRGO: The Whore
Dominant in relationships. Sexy. someone loves them right now. Freak in bed. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Intellectual. Attractive. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Hard to forget. Love at first sight. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. Ultimate sexiness.Great kisser. 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

SCORPIO: The lover
Can be mean somtimes. EXTREMELY sexy. Intelligent. Energetic. Predict future. Most erotic. (Freak in bed.) (GREAT kisser.) Always get what they want. Sexy. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. The sexiest ever....Romantic. Caring. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

LIBRA: The sex addict
Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing n Bed..!!! Did I say Amazing in Bed? not the kind of person you wanna fuck with... u might end up crying... the most irresistible.Rare to find. Funny. Talkitive. Erotic. Smart. loves sports. gets what he/she wants. Loves to be in a relationship. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

ARIES: The Sexiest
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to fuck with. Erotic. Funny. Take you on trips to the moon in bed. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY sexy. Loves being in long relationships.=) Addictive. Loud. best in bed. 16 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

AQUARIUS: Does it in the water Trustworthy. Sexy. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic and funny. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, but will Knock the shit out of you. The best and biggest freak in bed! Considered to be a "G". 2 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

GEMINI: Ultra Sexy
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you the fuck out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING.Horny. Freak in Bed. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. ULTRA SEXY. THE MOST IRRESISTABLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

LEO: Wild In Bed
Great talker. Sexy and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at making out. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Loyal.Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Great when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

CANCER: Most Amazing Kisser
Very high sex appeal. Great in bed!!! Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak in bed. Spontaneous. Great tellin stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. 12 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

PISCES: The Piece of ass
Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. Too Sexy, DAMN IT. Very high SEX appeal. Has the last word. The best to find, hardest to keep. Fun to be around. Freak in the sheets. Extremely weird but in a good way. Super good in bed. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. A partner for life. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. 5 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

CAPRICORN: The passionate Lover
Loves being in long relationships. Great talker (nga ba?). Always
Love to bust (what?? anung ibig sabihin nito???). Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irresistable, awesome kisser.gets what he or she wants. BY FAR the BEST in BED (hahaha!). Very sexy (korek! hehe!). Coolest. Loves to own Gemini's in sports.Extremely fun. Loves to joke (hindi rin...). Loves to be your first. So you'll never forget. Smart. 24 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

TAURUS: The Freak in bed
Aggressive. Freak in bed. Rare to find! Loves being in long relationships Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Sexy. Loves to help people in times of need. Outstanding kisser. Very funny. Awesome personality. Stubborn. Sexual. Most caring person you will ever meet! One of a kind. Not one to fuck with. Are the most sexiest people on earth! 15 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

SAGITTARIUS. The Sexy one
Spontaneous. Horny. Freak in Bed. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. The one. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Most caring person you will ever meet! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with you might end up crying. 4 years of bad luck if you do not repost.

hello, weeners (helloweeners)

2007-11-01T09:51:00.000-07:00

hahhahahahahahahahahaha. so much for playing with words.

so it's november already. and i thought i didnt have the guts to go to the cemetery but i did...because of the food and the tipsy-ness. and right now i can hear some annoying voice in my head shouting "that's the spirit bitch!" er.....

people were as usual, hysterical, hungry and festive. they sure love celebrating all saint's day...

and as for me...hmm...a bit intoxicated...wasted. i went to a booze party the other night and loved evry minute of it. i was planning to grab the pictures from my friends' blogs so i could post em here but im too lazy...and im going to post the same pictures anyway...freakin waste of time. magccomment na lang ako hehe..everytime i get my ass off somewhere i get all dizzy haahaha. JEK, if you're reading this....i've seen my friggin pictures!!! im gonna KILL YOU for taking wasak pictures of me!!!!

since im writing this on all soul's day...i was expecting some scary shit that might happen...im the only one awake right now eh...but it's 5 in the morning so nevermind.

hello weeners

screw you jinx disease!!!

2007-10-30T10:10:00.000-07:00

karma. is. such. a. bitch.

im trying hard to control swearing. i can fully understand that i am not exactly the luckiest
person in the world right now but having consecutive "bad days" is becoming a bit redundant..so much that it's becoming nearly impossible for me to call myself sane and
normal.

i dont believe in fate and all that bullcrap about density..wait. destiny. but i do believe that a person can and may be involved in a situation wherein forces of nature will
react differently to what he is innately expecting. okay, so i wouldnt type these long phrases over and over again, i'll just coin it with the term "unlucky." i dont think i believe in luck,
well maybe i do...but im not too obsessed about it. maybe i am just a victim of what superstitious and astrological brouhaha before, yea when i was 6 or 7 i think, but not anymore...

i cant consider myself a skeptic either...because i have read the celestine prophecy, and im trying to get it out of my head. when it comes to books, i am, sadly, a sucker.

i know! the reason for my unluckiness is because for every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. maybe thats it. because i am a klutz. but sometimes i think they do this on purpose. i dont even know who they are.

but im not into science either. mainly because i have spent numerous hours before trying to figure out what the hell science fiction was...since, you know, science is mostly reliable on denotative truths and principles while fiction is...just plain un-real so..what gives?

there it is again. gahd. i stepped on a broken piece of glass. of course i didnt mean to. see. my foot hurts. but it aint bleeding.

i am not superstitious at all but man...i fuck up real bad.

tired and tested

2007-10-30T07:59:00.000-07:00

i have always been known to be the WORST housekeeper in the family. i almost burned the house years ago for chrissake. and now, i wonder why, of all people, i am the one who's been asked to clean. i am awfully pissed off and tired...traumatized,too in a way during the past few weeks. as always, when at home, i am the one being locked up like a goddamn prisoner.

bawal lumabas. bawal umalis. bawal maglakad. bawal magbasa. bawal matulog. bawal magpahangin. bawal makijamming. bawal magtagal sa banyo. bawal maginternet. bawal magtext. bawal manood ng tv. bawal magpatugtog nyan. bawal bawal bawal...

gahd! the only thing allowed here is to CLEAN. well, metaphysical cleaning is out

of the question, since im not allowed to read nor meditate anyway. so okay, i tried

cleaning...for the sake of justifying "muchacha diaries," which i already changed hours ago. an hour later i wanna give up cleaning already. some say it's very therapheutic, but sadly it doesnt work for me at all. dunno why. maybe bitching around is very therapheutic for me, but cleaning? er...nope.

i have a weird way of putting or arranging things in order aka not messing up. i call it artistic,and everyone and anyone who's not me call it "completely fucking up" or "garbage" or (my personal favorite) "ayusin mo nga yan." thats why "cleaning" is hard for me. they always think its not cleaning, when i think it is. hey, my mind justifies the me. hahaha..some philosophy i made up. i keep twisting things...like when i think im a pathetic self-centered snob and some pretentious goody-two shoes wannabe disagrees, id' tell him/most-of-the-time-her: "i think, therefore i am (a pathetic self-centered snob. so stop being plastic and admit that you hate being with weirdo dorks like me.)." so much for that.

not that i dont like being clean, i just hate cleaning...as in doing it. i also dont like the fact that

people consider the stereotype female to be someone who's at home, cleaning all the time or someone who's moronically shy and timid, gracefully walking on the streets and accompanied by a suitor who's just after her virginity. spare me maria clara, but i dont like you. i hate rizal (and i thought i'd never say this...tsk,tsk) for leaving an imprint of what a woman was and should be. that horny bastard.

it must be a real turn-off for an old-fashioned guy when a lazy feminist like me abhors cleaning. what the hell do i care anyway. we can pee standing up too, you know! so stop acting high and mighty because let me tell you that having blood come out of your vagina every month is not a very pleasant sight. we're the ones who are fucking suffering here!

i am completely losing my point right now. im also starting to remember that particular monologue i watched before…*shudders*

by the way, i take a bath too. hygiene is a different issue.

anyways...so there. cleaning. i hate it. it hates me too.

subtract

2007-10-17T15:36:00.000-07:00

i've completely forgotten that word for about a week. and its really weird because every time i recite..for example the teacher asks me what i would do when f(1)=x-1...i'd start getting into a trance and say "uhm..i should minus x with one" or "uhm..i should decrease 1 from one" or "uhm...i should diminish 1 from one..." the word SUBTRACT never really pops inside my hollow head. i realize that the word subtract isnt really one of the most important words in my life today...but forgetting it sort of tells me "it's one of the many simpleton words in the dictionary. why the hell would you forget it? you've been studying math for how many years now...forgetting that word is a mortal sin!" i know im making a big deal out of this but...hmm...

the feeling im getting right now is like that feeling you get when you forget that your mom is still living. err...yep. its that feeling. wait. so i wouldnt offend anyone's mother, hmm...the feeling im getting right now is like forgetting someone really special to you. like someone you owe your life to. it doesnt really bother you, but...you feel kind of guilty inside. i am not a worshipping-math geek just because i forgot the word "subtract.." im just reflecting on it by the way. and besides, im not even good in algebra.

i just hate forgetting. i am afraid of getting alzheimer's because...i dont want to forget the people i love. i dont want to forget the things i already know (and want to brag about? hehe.) i dont want to forget that i know how to use the computer. i dont want to forget that i owe someone a lot of money. haha. i dont want to forget that i have to eat so i could live (or maybe i do...) i dont want to forget that i hate someone. i dont want to forget the peeps who tried to break my heart. (by then id forget that i have to kill them,anyway.)

i dont want to forget that i wrote this. issa..stop making paradoxes.

on ely buendia being on pinoy big brother

2007-10-14T17:46:00.000-07:00

i dont really know pero sabi nila nandun na nga raw siya. i dont know why but it pains me a lot. i dont want to be prejudiced or anything, but the minute i heard that he was on that show, i got goosebumps. i kept asking myself if i was going to be so much scandalized (again, i dont know why. or maybe i do, but i'll let you read between the lines) or just be plain happy for him.

i cant think of anything to say anymore. i felt oddly depressed (?)...i dont want to raise questions or share my goddamn opinions (just read catcher in the rye. hehe)....i just feel...so...sad. for him? no. for myself? no. for his reputation? no. for MY reputation (meron ba?)? no.

what the hell.

wait...may sagot na ako...teka lang ha...nasa dulo lang ng dila. maybe i'll let you know four years later.

what was the question anyway?

issa is a furkin' CHEERLEADER!!!!!!

2007-10-04T20:04:00.000-07:00

because of (stupid)pity. cheerleader=having to shout out the cheers every basketball game. i do not have to wear mini skirts and take out those pompoms like what you normally see on american chick flicks...thankgahd,,, i just have to shout as loud as i can..which i have no problem with because i happen to consider shouting a healthy cathartic therapy for anger management. i passed the auditions by the way,..and i think it was really stupid that some people from the ateneo golden junior cavalry (thats the club.) made us do stupid things like singing a favorite song in the form of "AW! AW! AW!" just to get the attention of that guy who they think is cute.

well,yea...i did audition for the fun of it all...and they (the members of the club) all said we "passed..." like they have a freakin choice anyway. they needed members, and the members auditioned for them. i really think they were just forced to pass everyone who auditioned out of sheer pity...

STUPID THINGS THEY MADE US DO:

1. shouting "AW! AW! AW!" while running around the basketball court

2. jumping and cheering "GET THAT BALL!" in front of apathetic students trying to watch the varsity practice

3. answering questions by shouting them

4. singing a favorite song but through saying "AW! AW! AW!" to that guy

5. why the hell are they so obsessed with making us shout "AW! AW! AW!" ?!?!?!

i was also glad that sir willy gave me a book yesterday...a bob ong book :D i just finished the book a couple of hours ago.

i texted sir rc, my social studies teacher back in third year, too...i dont know why. he said he was doing fine in san beda...

my braces are doing fine. my teeth arent. they furkin hurt!!!!

bad hair day

2007-09-30T17:56:00.000-07:00

stop it people i dont need your comfort. i know my hair sucks. naiinis na ako. dont think that just because i have low self-esteem,its your responsibility to tell me that my hair looks good even if it fucking doesnt. so if you'll excuse me...i have to prepare my n number of jackets (with hoods) to cover my not-so-pretty hair.

or maybe i'll just sue the barber. YES, barber

my favorite simpson character

2007-09-27T15:57:00.000-07:00

RALPH WIGGUM!

cant sleep.

2007-09-22T08:03:00.000-07:00

at this point i am really bored. okay, "bored" is already an understatement. there is a hidden frustration somewhere in my head that i could not find. i dont even know if that hidden frustration exists. all i know is that i have to type a good storyline for an idea.and im having a very big problem with that. focusing enough is not..enough for me. i dont know if there is another option besides sleeping or procrastinating. i want the job done without tiring myself. i cant believe we're all tasked to do some things that we dont like and then we blame ourselves for not progressing emotionally/aesthetically. its stupid.

thats why i wanted to pursue a course in college that i like. wait. pick a course that i like. i want to be happy with what im doing... not just doing it because im obliged or required to. i know, i know, we all have social contracts/responsibilities or what-have-you in the society. but we will never progress if we conform to a tradition. thats why there are weirdoes and outcasts and renaissance men/women and free-thinkers in this world...they all want to change what we should change...and change it again and again.

okay my friend kat emailed me. i have to finish this.

bottomline is...LET'S ALL BE NON-CONFORMISTS AND SAVE THE WORLD!

almusal

2007-09-22T07:01:00.000-07:00

Almusal

Isang tuluyang tula

Ang orasan ay nakahain sa harap ng pintuan. Inabot ng 0592742 segundo para bumagon sa kanyang inaalikabok na higaan, si Maria ay nagsimula nang maghanda ng almusal para sa kanyang sawing kapalaran. Unang ginawa’y dumiretso sa banyo’t pinaliguan ng maligamgam na tubig ang kanyang mukha. Ngunit ang salamin ang kanyang pinunasan. Pagkatapos ay kanyang kinuha ang pares ng tsinelas sa may hagdan at nagsimulang maglakad nang paspasan patungo sa tindahan. Umutang siya ng sampung pan de sal para makakain ng sampung piso—ang bayad ay walang natitiyak na kailan. Siyempre, nag-ayaw ang tinderang malansa, habang nagtatanggal pa ng kanyang muta. At siya’y muling nagsimulang maglakad ng paspasan patungo sa kabilang tindahan…

Ayaw…

Nakauwi si Mariang humihingal sa paglitaw ng umiinit na araw pasan ang pagod at hapdi na naidulot ng kawalang naikain. Nagsimula siyang magsuka ng pera. At saka niya ibinenta ang kanyang naisuka sa tinderang ang muta’y ‘di pa rin natatanggal.

---------

this is my first prose poem in tagalog. sana tama kasi im contributing it to aml. i hope it gets accepted too.

puppy ko

2007-09-18T00:33:00.000-07:00

my very looovely pooch. hahaha. it's a neat name...sarah-edited ang picture kaya pangit. pang-aso kasi ang pangalan..haha ang sama. i will never talk to you whenever my puppy's around...hahaha. seriously. i speak uber-baby language to the point na pag narinig nyo, id sound like a horrible pa-cute na 16-year old acting like a 5 year old... its really embarrassing. and yea, if you look closely, maaawa ka kay ra. i was like...choking him. aww my poor poor puppy. life expectancy is 5 months or so. yep.call me irresponsible. i already am. but at least i baby him...and i always make sure that he fights with his brothers. right now, he's a loner kasi pinamigay na yung iba sa relatives. yep. loner....just like me. now excuse me while i cry with my poor dog. nyahaha

try nyo, it might be a lotta fan

2007-09-14T09:46:00.000-07:00

-logically, ninakaw sa lahat ng nagnakaw kay sir niche. therefore...-

Ask me to take a picture of any aspect of my life that you're interested in/curious about - it can be anything from the house I live in to my favourite shoes. Leave your choice here as a comment, and I will reciprocate by taking the pictures and posting them. That way you get to know a little bit about my life.

that really really really annoying song

2007-09-06T22:26:00.000-07:00

beautiful girl by...er...that dude i dont know. lahat ata ng mga webpage sa mundo nakaembed ang song na yun.

haynaku. i'll just listen to ciudad na lang.

5 reasons why you should watch jeopardy

2007-09-05T15:47:00.000-07:00

no i am not the smartest sap in this world, but i love watching jeopardy. i feel so unusually happy whenever i get to ask the question (which is the answer! gahd they're geniuses!) and the contestants dont. wow...the magic of game shows...okay i forgot the reasons. basta its a good! (if you're a dork.whos not even smart.just dorky)

question: the dork whos typing right now during computer class

answer: who is issa?

question for $400: this country has the worst president.

answer: what is usa?

another answer: what is the philippines?

another answer: what is china?

issa's answer: what is...all of them?

wait. im trying to laugh. er.. nope. not working.

my past preincarnated life

2007-09-01T06:19:00.000-07:00

nakuha ko kay wence. ninakaw pala. http://thebigview.com

Your past life diagnosis:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't know how you feel about it, but you were male in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere in the territory of modern East Australia around the year 800. Your profession was that of a map maker, astrologer, astronomer.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Your brief psychological profile in your past life:
Timid, constrained, quiet person. You had creative talents, which waited until this life to be liberated. Sometimes your environment considered you strange.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The lesson that your last past life brought to your present incarnation:
It always seemed to you that your perceptions of the world are somewhat different. Your lesson is to trust your intuition as your best guide in your present life.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you remember now?

-er..remember what? ah! baka ako si galileo galilei! maybe he was born since 800. and maybe..just maybe..he's australian!

admu essay

2007-08-26T21:29:00.000-07:00

aka the shittiest essay of all. the original one....before everything was edited into a more decent and more "impressive" essay. spare me. i dont know how to write good essays. im just writing what i feel like writing. i dont really care if i pass acet or not because of this freakin essay..i dont even know if they will be reading it...basta i did my part. who the hell cares if they'll be impressed or not. oh. my mother.

I am going to be honest: half of what I will be writing will be (almost) a lie. Sometimes we think we see—in this case, read—things so clearly when in reality we are just plain tired and slothful that we tend to accept it just the way it is…unconsciously riding along the waves of deception. Our stupidity unites us altogether, and conformity strengthens that foundation. I may sound very pessimistic, but reality is a pessimist trying hard to be otherwise. Society (or the alta ciudad) is an optimist, or so they say. We humans are in between—no, maybe in the middle of a forked road. Art would definitely explain everything.

It is often said that when a door closes, we will soon come to realize that a window was open for us to go through. (And then the ideal thief is born.) My life, on behalf of half of the people all over the world, is unfair. Like the rest of the struggling depressed of the very much controversial Generation X, I feel like I am very close to reaching that end point we usually call suicide. Let’s not be exaggerated then, I just feel isolated and out of place all the time; but then again, how many more of us keep saying that we feel isolated and out of place?

For the past 15 years (and counting), a lot of events in my life have made me what kind of person I am today. One would be getting kicked out in an arts school. I was one of the “lucky” persons to study there, but then I wasted that very rare opportunity because I was too much young for the glitz and glamour of actual city life, and the hustle and bustle of leading an independent life. One school year was all it took for me to completely change from a kid to a living, thinking individual. And that living, thinking individual risked three more supposedly-better years during the process. Sometimes I really think that I got kicked out for another reason (besides failing in Creative Writing): to save me from exploding due to excessive weirdness. I met so many amazing (understatement) and artistic people in that school. They all had their own ideas and idiosyncrasies; it was so beautiful daydreaming of a world full of those kinds of people.

Death was one of the more sensitive themes I was eager to talk about, but whenever I had the chance, I would just sink deeper and deeper. Because of this, I became confused of my own faith. What kind of faith did I have? Was I only taking this “God” for granted? Does that mean I’m selfish? More questions arose until I had to separate myself from Christianity. Up to now, I do not have the answers to my questions, and I am constantly and unconsciously seeking for an explanation. It is said that faith cannot be forced, and although my parents are having a hard time dealing with my problems in terms of religion, I know that studying in a Catholic school would help me solve my problems. Even if being biased is inevitable, especially now that I’m studying in a Catholic school, at least I get to know their viewpoints and opinions.

The most permanent significant event in my life would be getting up on bed and figuratively asking myself every damn school day if I am ready to go to school and study. It is significant, because I realize that asking myself the same question over and over again is, I think, motivating me to continue studying. Man never ceases to learn, but man also gets tired. This habit makes me both a better and worse person: I would go to school and learn, but going to school would also be meeting and coming across different people with different personalities who are either ready to help me out, or ruin my chances of getting good grades. Everyday I had to choose between swimming with them on the oceans of the much-dreaded high school life, or staying inside the library during lunch break and reading. On certain occasions I would choose the former, but the latter made me happier and more comfortable. Being in school deformed and molded my personality so much so that I became Issa the Weirdo, Issa the Nerd, Issa the Punk, Issa the Free-Thinker, Issa the Teacher’s Pet or Issa the Loner. Sadly, plain Issa is nowhere to be found.

I am convinced that I still have so much to learn both in life and in school. I wouldn’t be one of the fortunate children to live this long if my only purpose in life was to sit down and watch late-night television shows, right? I think I can still tolerate asking myself every damn school day: Am I ready to go to school to study?

This is starting to become one of those pretentious essays now, is it…

how issa metalmouth came to be

2007-08-11T19:14:00.000-07:00

at first, exciting...
but after a few days..
mahirap nang kumain. pag may mga natanggal na elastics.... ang resulta: moral of the story: force god not to give you bad teeth so you wont have to go through all these crap. to be continued...

"reasoning is not accepted (in algebra)"

2007-08-08T15:39:00.000-07:00

bakit kaya. sabi ni sir beltran eh.

parang...may mali.

ano ang "sunggo?"

2007-08-03T20:10:00.000-07:00

"sunggo" according to issa (aww..

sunggo=answering a very very very very vury difficult quiz/exam/challenge(what the..) e.g.: upcat,acet,physics quiz,math quiz (boo-hoo kung matalino ka. as if you're gonna die sane anyway), paglalaba (huh..)

sunggo=completely fucking up when everything is in the wrong direction. like everyone in their problematic,helpless, and lets-stop-yakking-now EMO state. e.g. you, you, you, and you.

sunggo=yung mani. hahaha. nice nice nice klerber. haha. SUGO tawag dun,dear. ahhahaha

sunggo=nosebleeding. (for real). like my good friend cheche. who's a bit hemophiliac (hmph. daya. why cant i be her?!) so any wound would be equal to, as ma'am marge would call it, "chugi"

sunggo=that extremely talented/kick-ass person doing something you cant. e.g.: yoda, with his lightsaber;nick deocampo, period. and da vinci (i dont know why. er.duh.) (when used in a sentence: "sunggo nman yan! go yoda, go yoda, go!")

i feel constipated.

(wtf)

the difference between talking to issametalmouth and issa

2007-07-31T15:57:00.000-07:00

issa: excuse me.

issametalmouth: eshkyush meee.

issa: nasaan na kayo pucha?!

issametalmouth: nashaan na kayo put-sha!

issa: mississippi.

issametalmouth: mishishipi.

issa: social security system

issametalmouth: sho-shal she-kyu-ri-ti shis-tsem.

issa: my name is isabella louise aguirre abustan.

issametalmouth: my name ish ishabela lu-wish a-gkki-re abushtan

advantages of having braces:

you'll have straight teeth (soon), better way of dieting

disadvantages:

speech impediments, hard to smile, ssshshshshhs, grkrkgkkrkgkr, constant headache, constant pain

morphine, sino may morphine?!?!

"what is logic, miss abustan?!?!"

2007-07-31T15:45:00.000-07:00

issa: ma'am, i think logic is the absence of common sense and the unconscious inclination to literal explanation.

wala lang. hanapin nyo ang mga mali sa definition ko. i dare you!

issa is a dork now

2007-07-22T17:42:00.000-07:00

i cant believe i have to suffer for three years with metal in my mouth. yep. braces. and yea, HEAVY metal.

"issa likes to..."

2007-07-21T23:09:00.000-07:00

got the idea from http://chibi19.multiply.com :D

i googled "(my name) likes to" and here are the sentences that came up:

1. "Issa likes to produce internal rhythm with word repetition":. -what the!

2. When she's not doing music, Issa likes to spoil her two dogs (a Yorkie and Pappian) and two cats. -no i am not an aging old woman with a million cats (and dogs). and i dont do music, i listen to them. hahaha.

3. Issa likes to teach perfect pronounciation and it's killer some times. -to hell with this.

4. Issa likes to get in front of the camera. -oh suuuuuuuuuure. half-true i guess. haha.

5. Issa likes to kiss before we undress. -oooohhhkkkkkaaaaaay.....

6. FSP’s, as the ISSA likes to call them, end users as we used to call them, but not enough yet to fill the aisles with the number of legitimate buyers that ... -oh, so im a company now

On a happier note, off the cost of Brunswick Georgia, there layeth, the begginings of "A New garden for the CHILDREN", as Issa likes to say. -pedophiles would be okay. haha

yup. there're only seven. there're only a few issa's in this world. good, good.

Citizen Advancement Training (CAT)

2007-06-30T07:30:00.000-07:00

WALANG AESTHETIC VALUE ANG MILITARY EKLAT NA YAN EXCEPT SA UNIFORMITY AND ORDER, NA SA TINGIN KO, NAKAKASIRA NG KATAUHAN AT ULO.

haaaay. requirement in fourth year PE. im in Bravo 2. i dont get it. no offense to the officials or anything, but there is something really wrong in the picture...i just dont remember what it is..how could we be "advanced" citizens when they keep on barking commands. we will only have "presence of mind," and "discipline..." whatever it is. syempre, pag nasa hanay iimik lang ako dyan kasi, pag may instance na tinanong akong "1st squad,2nd element,bakit di ka naka-align sa hanay?" hindi ko pwedeng sagutin ang opisyal ng "Ma'am, because i had to look up in the sky so i would see the movement of the clouds in order to approximate what time it is because i am really fucking thirsty and i want to rest, ma'am!" dapat, ang sasagutin ko...wala. sasaraduhin ko na lang ang bibig ko kasi problema yan pag magmumukha akong pilosopo (yung tipong gagong pilosopo na hindi gumagamit ng common sense. ganun nga ako).

opinyon ko lang...

medyo nakakapucha na rin pag nagiging sarcastic yung opisyal. para tuloy siya pa yung nagmumukang mas kawawa at baliw, although yung mga kadete nga yung kawawa at baliw. kasi, pag nagiging sarcastic ang opisyal, ang tendency, tatawa pa lalo ang mga kadete, which gives her more time to waste her saliva shouting at us. kung hindi naman yun ang kaso, minsan, pag nagpapainggit pa siya, kapag kami parang pinipritong isda sa ilalim ng araw, at yung mga opisyal naman, nasa "shade." mapapa-imagine kang pinapatay mo sila...pero wala kang magagawa. they just want to pass on what they have been passed on. im not really sure. pero. yan ang putanginang sistema e. kapag pinahirapan ka, kung ikaw na ang magpapahirap, papahirapan mo rin para maramdaman nila ang naramdaman mo nung pinapahirapan ka. selfish in a way,pero may advantages rin. para sa akin naman, nakakapucha talaga. at tanga. kasi pag sinundan mo ang sistema, ipagpapatuloy mo ang cycle. eh kung gago ka iisipin mong panandalian lang yun at may magbabago rin...pero hindi e. paikot lang yan ng paikot. yan rin yung naisip ko sa days with the lord (boys/girls)...kasi pinapatuloy nyo ang sistema e. hindi yan titigil. kaya ayaw ko sumali sa mga ganyan...tssss.

HINDI AKO GALIT SA KAHIT SINUMANG OPISYAL SA CAT. NAG-REREFLECT LANG at naglalabas ng sama ng loob (hindi sa opisyal,kundi sa sistema). naiinis lang talaga ako sa sistemang ganun. kaya maraming namamatay araw araw e, dahil sa tanginang conformity na yan.

and then what

2007-06-30T06:53:00.000-07:00

this will be the first time i'll be writing about life in school...as a senior...gahd. almost a month after the dreaded "first day of classes," i am now blogging about school. actually, i never planned to, because it's all just a repetitive cycle (tell me when im already too redundant. okay. dalawa na yun.). anyway, the reason why im yakking right now is because everything that has happened for the whole month of june (or, ever since the frist day of school) was so fast. there was no time for blogging,explaining, reacting, complaining,spilling,and even thinking. im not superman so i couldn't juggle everything from school,to family, to..er... well to give you an example...yknow when it's your first day of work in the office and suddenly people just keep piling more paperwork on your desk...that's what i felt for the past few weeks. maybe it wasn't noticeable, me having problems and all, but like i said, i dont even have the time to draw a big teary-eyed look on my face. call me emotionally numb,but i dont give a fuck anymore...

although ive already written a couple of sentences on how i cant keep up with my life, sadly, i still dont want to just blurt out my problems in..er...public? well i dont even know if anyone even reads my blog,but i still cant move on. im trying to,but...death is just...so...merciless. call me a sappy emo freak but now, it's the real thing...and it really hurts. the feeling is like...when you keep running and you know you're tired but you still keep on running because you're chasing after something but you can't catch up. that's what i feel. and the more painful part is the fact that i can no longer release all these emotions in front of my family,my friends and everyone around me (and maybe even to myself) because i have to focus on my studies, and i have to study hard so everything would turn out alright, even if i know that it's not true, but still...there's no harm in trying.

haaay. i shouldn't deny my problems. i should accept them, that's what the self-help book told me. ampucha. here goes. someone i really love committed suicide through overdose. thus, the start of a rollercoaster ride with insanity. the problems just kept adding, like that paperwork pile up i was talking about. it all started with him going to my place, me going to his friend's place and making an alibi to my mom. and then,two days after, he commits suicide after going back to manila. dont even dare ask me why or i'll kill you. his best friend accidentally sent a text message to my mom because she can't reach me by phone,or by call or by text because my parents had to give me the phone with no signal everywhere that day because my real phone had to be under repair. he died at 7 in the morning, and i found out at 7 in the evening. i got mad at my mom because she never even bothered texting my friends about his death and all, so i would know and i'd be contacting his best friend as soon as possible. but nooo...she never,ever even bothered.

and now my studies. its hard to focus these days. it really is. it was harder for me,i switched off my phone the whole time because i've been receiving condolences from his friends. kumbaga, my self-mutilation kuno was me trying to forget what had happened. masakit talaga. i passed all my quizzes, and i recited frequently. but i dont know what to do anymore with..him. he was already buried six feet and deeper in my head. i was grateful for having my friends because they were the ones who made me laugh,made me forget everything. i couldnt attend his burial,which will be a few hours from now. i dont want to forget him,a dn i dont want to remember him at the same time. self-centered i may be, but i remember him telling me before that whatever happens, i should always think, and think of myself. the more his words keep bombarding me, the more i forgive him for committing suicide,a nd the more i appear like the bad person in the eyes of his friends. but they would never understand. his own family would never understand.

just last friday, i felt traumatized. for both filipino and english subjects, the topic was about love. in filipino, the question everyone was required to answer was :ano ang first love sa iyong karanasan? although it sounds corny or baduy, it saddened me...explaining to my teacher my situation. and then the whole class just laughing their heads off. nakakabastos talaga. they were really sick. and then in english, the subject after filipino, the class discussed on pyramus and thisbe, that story about two young lovers ending up dead in the end when they finally met. tangina it did it. but then again, i had to focus.

yes, i know imthe bad guy here. because i had to think of my own sake at the time when i had to grieve. but there's nothing to grieve anymore. he;s dead. a nothingness. a vacuum. a void. what more can i do? i cry over some things, but i dont know why i should cry over nothing. of course, the memories remain. and yea, i might be sentimentla every now and then...but dammit people please LET ME MOVE ON.

spin,spin,spin

2007-06-22T19:45:00.000-07:00

because you know you are in pain

and you need to escape.

but before you spin,

you play a game.

it's called pretending.

you pretend it's a game

and you pretend you're escaping.

but before you pretend,

you think.

do you think you are spinning?

do you think you are winning?

do you think you are swimming

in trapholes beginning

to sink?

but before you think,

carry me first and

let me begin to

spin,spin, spin.

because i know i am in pain,

and i need to escape.

...

rest in peace.go to sleep.

i was tagged by ate mei :D

2007-06-04T23:51:00.000-07:00

Instructions: Each player starts with seven random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose seven people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment saying that they’ve been tagged and to read your blog!

number one: i am harmless. really. i may appear dangerous (huh? talaga?) because of how i talk (well,at least in my posts...) and how i complain and how i just rant and rant and rant and badmouth a person but i'm really harmless. all my mean reactions either go to this blog,or in my head...im actually a sap...

number two: i've always wanted to post a lot of mean things about my sister, sarah. seriously. i'm always mad at her because "fate" approves of her more than me, but when i think about it...i think she's thinking the same thing. either that, or she's thinking of her hair. i've been planning this for almost a year now, and still, i never get the chance to write about it. this must be a conspiracy for all the sisters out there...

number three: i love ned flanders from the simpsons. he loves me too.

number four: i spent my childhood days thinking i was god instead of playing with barbie dolls that end up headless when given to me. yep. i dont know why the hell i did that but now that i remember it,it's kinda disturbing. at home, when i couldn't do anything else, i would just lie on bed raising my arm and looking at the ceiling, and i would get this weird feeling in my arm,yung parang kinukuryente. nangangalay lang naman pala. but at that time i would think it was some magical power. YUN! i thought i was a superhero! see? i wasn;'t that a freak when i was a small kid.

number five: i do not have a best friend. not interested. my last best friend had skin cancer, and i was in prep at that time. i don't want to go into the details since it'd only make me emotional. maybe i got traumatized. i never saw her again after we moved to naga. i can't say i miss her, since we always got mad at each other in school because she wanted to eat her baon in the cafeteria and i wanted to eat mine in the classroom. babaw,no? we were still kids so that's acceptable. now that i think about it, i never really verified from her parents if she really had skin cancer. maybe she was just lying,and now she's in an asylum because she's a psychopath. and that's the reason why i should never have another best friend.

number six: this is really embarrassing. and recent. there was this really huge gig in capitol,wherein a lot of bands were going to play, and i attended it. i squeezed my way into the huge crowd along with my brother, and there we were, jumping and headbanging to the dawn's anthemic songs. it was really cool..and then i got dizzy...it was weird because im used to smelling smoke sweat and pot at the same time in a huge crowd, and now i got really dizzy. i still kept on jumping,anyway. jett pangan was singing tulad ng dati and then i embraced my brother and after a few seconds,THREW UP. in that huge crowd. i may have high tolerance in booze, but i guess i will never,ever drink another nestea green tea EVER AGAIN.

number seven: i have lots of secrets. lots. really lots.

ipPM ko na lang mga i-tatag ko... :D

tentententen-te-nen-ten-te-nen.tententen-ten-tenen-ten-tenen

2007-06-02T09:47:00.000-07:00

tapos na ang star wars marathon. ubos na ang metaphoric popcorn. nagsimula na ang denoument. hindi pa rin patay si george lucas. pucha.

pumunta pala ako sa dentista nung biyernes. nung sabado magpapakabit na sana ako ng bakal sa ipin. kaso kelangan daw ako tanggalan ng ipin kaya mapopostpone (na naman,salamat sa diyos) ang kalbaryo na parating.

ilang galon kaya ng dugo ang linunok ko...

it's a bit sad

2007-05-28T20:36:00.000-07:00

i dont know where to go. im getting new glasses today. itseems like i broke the last pair. i did. hehe. this new pair im going to buy will be my last. or so my mom told me. yun. dat's the latest news. oh. and im going to watch the star wars marathon on saturday. popcorn popcorn popcorn couch potatoes

welcome back,paranoia

2007-05-25T06:41:00.000-07:00

the most disgusting thing just happened...i just had those freak attacks...like that feeling when you feel so small and you're waiting for the black hole to suck you up. here's the worst part: you realize something...a moral...a lesson that you know will change a part of your life...but you shrug it off anyway. but it keeps coming back. dammit.

i hate realizations. you don't know whether you're gonna apply it in your life or you're just aware of something.

i also hate cosmic bullshit...yknow..fate,destiny,more superior being..et cetera. i just don't get it how people just stick to one faith...or god for that matter. it's so easy for them... sometimes i find a particular religion... exagg. pero rinerespeto ko pa naman. and the more cynical i am towards a religion..the less faith i acquire. well.obviously that would be the outcome. the reason i thought about these stuff is because of my friend who's a whole lot confused as i am. unlike most people nowadays, we take religion seriously. but my friend came across the point where she had to choose a covenant (di sya RC) ,in due time. say. the following day. it's not her fault that she's confused...but she's having a really hard time and i don't know how to help her. she told me she needed a shrink.but i doubt that a shrink would even take her seriously. so now..i'm the one greatly affected.

i hate having to lie on bed thinking about stuff that will make you go crazy...it's also hard for me not to pretend that i don't care because i do. sometimes it's hard not to take life seriously. and it's hard not to think about this! gahd! heeeelp me.

stay away from me paranoia.

ang pangit mo!

2007-05-17T10:11:00.000-07:00

hulaan nyo kung sino.
haha.

hooray for photography

2007-03-19T03:55:00.000-07:00

na-inspire lang ki sir tatel. hehe. sir, comment naman!!! and happy birthday! para sayo tong mga pics (nambobola)

thank you in advance sa ice cream!!!!

"i cant think of a title eh"

"la pieta"

"diet"

"waiting"

"sunset"

The Empty Facade

2007-03-12T05:19:00.001-07:00

the empty facade

(or how i waited and got tired of waiting)

i am sitting on a chair

in front of an old cafe

waiting for my beloved.

it has already been two

(or three) hours

since i sat here, pondering,

with no communication from him

for what seemed like a year.

i try hesitantly

to amuse myself with

the noise,

but nothing does, anyway.

like random shape-shifters

of nature's restlessness,

passers-by pass by, and nothing more.

the empty facade,

just a few blocks away,

that i myself have been wanting

to loiter on for

hours,

days,

weeks,

months

(with my beloved of course),

is already occupied

by young temporary lovers.

i stand up

from my chair,

and leave with nothing

but the thought

of that empty facade.

----

i wrote the poem, very inspired. the original title was "boredom," but i changed it since it really has nothing to do with boredom anyway. i would appreciate comments. harsh ones.

its hard yknow

2007-03-02T09:02:00.000-08:00

feeling what i want to feel.

seeing what i want to see.

crying when i want to cry.

smiling when i want to smile.

speaking when i want to speak.

trying when it's hard to try.

dying when i'm ready to die.

loving when i want to be loved.

hating who i want to hate.

hearing when i want to hear it.

touching when there's nothing to touch.

hurting when i don't want to get hurt.

losing when i don't want to lose.

winning what everyone wants to win.

saying what silent words could say.

and most of all

destroying something i don't want to destroy.

like love.. and him.

------

goodbye. its a strange word. its almost exactly like beginning and ending. you never know if you're saying goodbye to someone you've just said hello to, or your goodbye is something new to say hello to.

well its all but a strange world anyway.

taena mo:

tangina mo avril (lavigne)!!!

2007-03-01T20:56:00.001-08:00

sorry i just watched zee new video girlfriend b yun?

gahd avril sucked.

scraps

2007-02-27T04:52:00.000-08:00

everything in my life has turned out to be the complete opposite of what i wanted.

well, it started when i was in 5th grade that i realized that everything i wanted was taken away from me in vain. for example, if i wanted my hands not to get dirty, and i believed it, after spending the whole day, id realize that my hands are dirty. okay,that wasnt a good enough example. here's another one: when i wish for something, it doesn't come true. like when i want to have my very own car, i wouldn't have one. even as a kid, the mere thought of wishing for something never crossed my mind because i would goddamn know that i have no chance of attaining/getting/receiving it.

so, yea, kinda lame but when i wanted a barbie i got a scolding, when i wanted my parents to love me, i got a television,when i wanted to cry i got happier. and allthat bullshit.

okay. on with the real deal:

i dont know how to reverse this... thing. curse, bad luck, jinx, call it anything you want. how do you remove it? i mean, its a bit superstitious and all but when will my life be as happy as some people out there? why is it that when i get a feeling of fulfillment something terrible happens..like failing a quiz or someone calling me louise. gaaahd.

i hate to sound emo but here goes...

i dont like it whenever i keep pushing him away because the more i do, themore he hangs onto me and when he's the one who ignores i get badly hurt. redundant. i want to turn him down but when i do its like im the one being turned down. i think its guilt but how can it be when i seriously want to get rid of him.

tae i hate it when my effing sister barges in and just drags my ass away from the chair im sitting on. like right now, im just sitting here writing on my blog and there she is making up a god-knows-where excuse just to check her fucking Friendster account. what is it with her? i dont understand my sister at all. she just drives me crazy. she lives in this ethereal world and now, she's become a lot like the others,. like my parents. like my brothers. she's only in her first year and she's already a clone. she's real plastic. im pissed off kay so stop telling me that im being mean to my sister. but its true. however i would want to put it there's no other way to say this: she is plastic. she talks and smiles that god-awful smile of hers and it just makes me sick. she's pa-cute and she pretends to sound so innocent when it comes to boys liking her when in fact she actually likes the idea of boys having crushes on her and courting her. GAHD! it's like barbie uglified!!! now she's looking for ways to annoy me so i would get pissed off, which i already am, like combing her oh-so-fabuloso hair and stilll...GAHD! GRINNING! shes like that lady in soundgarden's black hole sun!!

i shudder, disturbed.

i hate you

2007-02-26T20:47:00.001-08:00

stop fooling me. stop playing mindgames with me. leave me alone. dammit just fucking stop

waiting

2007-02-25T20:32:00.001-08:00

its hard to wait especially when you know that you're waiting and you're losing hope.

too late the v-day

2007-02-16T23:17:00.001-08:00

actually this was written on the 8th of february. dont read this if you hate mushy crap. its my blog deal with it. its quite short because there's nothing much to say. or maybe that was all i had to say.

---

on valentine's day...i wish you were here with me. so we could talk. and i could tell you how stupid i am and i;ll convince you, or you'll convince me that you don't know me anymore, you don't like me, and i should butt out of your life. and i will get hurt and move on. and forget about you. and you'll be happy and still listen to your usual crap. and i'll be here, stil hurt but still living,

and i'll still love you.

rough draft number 3: STAGE PERFORMANCE

2007-02-16T23:05:00.001-08:00

another poem. please do read...i need comments...just to see if my poetry is improving. i havent had anyone to read my poem for quite some time kasi and im making a big risk right now.

-----------

Applause.

the crowd stands up,

and cheers (and jeers).

'What a wonderful performance!'

it was, but the make up

has already faded a while ago

and i have been a discreet clown,

wishing for my lipstick,

applying it and smearing it unconsciously. But

'What a wonderful performance!'

it really was, even if

my lines have been mixed up, and

my words have been lisps and groans

of nervousness, having been carried me

to a place called stage fright. Yet

'What a wonderful performance!'

it would have been if only

i have not denuded myself

of my own self but

i can't because everything

was just a stage performance

and we are all waiting for

Applause.

rough draft number 2: GOODBYE

2007-02-16T22:55:00.001-08:00

another poem. emo mode last night e. sorry if i piss anyone off just because i typed "emo." gahd. hey. its not an emo poem. i think. comment ulit. pleeeaaase

----

goodbye, tomorrow.

bud me farewell when you've greeted me with the past

and tortured me with the present.

let me hope my hopeless hopes

and dream my non-existent dreams.

carry a torch inside my heart

and burn me on the stake

of sheer knowledge and worth.

catch me a leaf and

let me know

if it has long been caught by another random

being.

let me be, let me be, let me be

your prophet and guide me

to the gods of Alpha and Omega.

goodbye tomorrow,

for you always forget to take me

somewhere else other than

your promises and mistakes.

rough draft number 1: I HATE YOU

2007-02-16T22:46:00.001-08:00

ei its a poem. tell me if it sucks...and lemme know if they dont kasi i'll contribute a poem to AML...sana tanggapin though. comment pleaaase.. lets see if ma croospost sa blogger ayaw magopen dito eh. thanks...

-----

i hate you foolish girl because you are insatiable

you mock the bird when you are in its nest

but still you could not fly away and never look back.

you stow away from madness

yet you return like a hungry dog

with nothing to eat but a discarded bone.

i hate you foolish girl because you are for your namesake,

foolish.

you escape from the path you want to go

but you hunger for it at the same time.

you prevaricate your thoughts

and you feel as if you stand on top of a hill

waiting for Death, only to find out

it has always been you you were waiting for.

i hate you foolish girl

because you are

a destroyer of dreams,

an abyss of nothingness,

a sea of mockery,

a child of loneliness, and

a sorcerer of god.

i hate you foolish girl

because what you see

in front of the mirror

is not you,

but a scar of beauty marred

by temptation and empathy.

i hate you foolish girl because you are trying to be me.

i miss you...

2007-02-07T20:52:00.000-08:00

im sorry if ever i never take you seriously

----------------------------
Taking on seven years the holy ghost had left alone
Test my arms, kick like crazy
I've been trying way too longonly push the way off to fight you
Now I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm not sure
Getting off my chestthe story ends
I would find a way without...
Tell him his eyes see too clear
I would find a way without you
Tell him his eyes see too clear
That mistake was gold
I know that without youis something that I could never do
That was why staple the eyes and
seven dates for me to sell machines
and tear on
Seven years you assured methat I'd be fine if I complied
only push the way off to fight you
Now I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm not sure
Getting off my chest the story ends
I would find a way without...
Tell him his eyes see too clear
I would find a way without you
Tell him his eyes see too clear
That mistake was gold I know that without youis something that I could never do
That was why staple the eyes andseven dates for me to sell machinesand tear on
Don't treat me, I'm to blame (sorry, I'm sorry, I'm not sure)
Don't treat me like I ever accused you

the Internet has found me!

2007-02-05T20:42:00.000-08:00

computer class looooove...

while everyone's freaking out how to figure out (or even guess) the answer to the hexadecimal crap the student teacher's talking about...

im here typing, checking my MySpace account and pretending to listen to the student teacher...

shit we have a quiz coming up

indie frustation

2007-02-03T00:52:00.000-08:00

argh.

it's always so sad when i dont get to watch indie stuff...i dunno. i watched the indiefest in naga 2 weeks last friday nman, twas fun. but not being able to watch indie films made by our very own filipino filmmakers was kinda sad. i was supposed to watch sitak on erm/..crap. i forgot the channel. basta yung may mga pinoy movies...shit. cinemax? no. YAN! cinemaone! anyways. i dint get to watch it after all. and reading about how people gave good reviews on indieCine, argh...i wanted to watch badly.

what's wrong with wearing khakis? i was passing by centro and then this lady looked at me like i was stark naked. that was so rude. well, i know im fat and all but that was just...RUDE! well i had a very good reason why i wore khakis! its because of my mother thats why! and besides, im not in the mood to wear black today. it's so monotonous. everywhere you go, you see guys wearing black, girls wearing black. i even saw an old lady wear a sleeveless black shirt! not that im into trends or anything, but even if i like the idea of people everywhere wearing black,like theres a funeral or something, id hate to see people who...uhm...wait theres a term for that one...CLONES! ookay how would i know if i dont even know them,,..stooopid.

well anyway. im quite pissed off today. i deserve it though.

REUNION

just awhile ago i saw my classmate way back when i was in 6th grade...he grew taller than before, i must say. and the last time i talked to him was two years ago, when i was planning to study in naga city science high school. i remembered him fondly because he was the one who we always made fun of.. (sorry.) he's like natividad, who my classmates now always call mongoloid. but back then i was too stupid to even realize that mongoloid is not a type of Mongol pencil. well, anyhoos, now, im glad i saw him. but it was so embarrassing because my mother was with me, and his parents were with us so we were often teased. like his dad would say, "pag magkaboyfriend ka, unahin mo na si (name)" or my mother would say, "oh, siya na lang partner mo sa prom."

oh COME ON!

haaay.....

parents.

memoirs of an issa

2007-01-25T07:48:00.000-08:00

mode: listening to music, creating a camwhore out of my crappy cellphone.

memoirs of an issa...
i dont think that sounded good.

yea yer probably thinking about the whole memoirs of a geisha thing. it doesnt really matter. its about time i tell you something about my experiences in life. memoirs pero the dumb ass that i am, autobiography dapat itawag dito. nevertheless, dont try to screw with the content because it was my choice to fuck it all up. you are just a reader, a bored reader.

anyway, on with my life:

i was born in the slums of this third-world country. since i have been born lazy and oh-so-slothful, i forgot to ask god if he is risking my parents the permission to give birth to a god-awful child like me. but then it happened, on the 11th of september, after hours of waiting (because i was too lazy to come out of my mother's vagina. its a freakin trap, i thought to myself) i finally came out and celebrated the death of my sanity.

i remember living with the whole clan, in my mother side. and the last thing i remember living in that house was that the house was burning. well of course i wasnt in the house. but comman,i was just a stupid annoying brat back then. i didnt do anything to make that house burst into flames. or did i. well. lets just say the whole family was disappointed.

yes, i was impish back then. wakk. wow im destroying the very foundation of my childhood. well. for all i know i was a stupid arsonist before and i will never ever do anything like that again. i hope.

ANYway, it is now 12:42 in the morning and im still not sleepy. i dont think i can finish my so-called "memoirs" right now. im too busy looking for that word in textwist. i still have 35 seconds left.

...

YES! the word was placebo. got it right! :D speaking of placebo,hmm...i saw a video once of the band..i think it's "meds." i dont remember the tune now...

i'll get to work now.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

snake eyes

2007-01-25T06:08:00.000-08:00

may i now introduce you to "snake eyes," the code name i will be using for my entry today. you see, i have been having difficulty with anger management, and "snake eyes" will be my code name for all the people i am seriously mad at, to the point that i may have no other choice but to think of what might happen to them if i ever rule the world.

let me see...for the past few days snake eyes has been pissing me off. snake eyes isnt even considerate. snake eyes treats me like crap because snake eyes thinks snake eyes can outdo me, because snake eyes is so smart snake eyes is so good at everything. well its not entirely my fault im such a sorry ass dumbshit who cant do anything more in life but to design shitty clothes and write "feeling deep" poems and act weird all the time just to find out that i am part of the "others" group.

it's sad really, that snake eyes is leading such a sad memory of his past. but snake eyes has everything, except a vivid past. snake eyes is a megalomaniac. snake eyes is a big fat liar. but snake eyes cant lie because snake eyes is an innocent victim of sin. snake eyes is a killer of bullies but a torturer of innocence. i am just so pissed off at snake eyes because snake eyes doesnt know how to cooperate with people. i am not very cooperative myself but i know that i still tolerate people but snake eyes is just crossing the line. i also hate it when i still help snake eyes find the reasons why snake eyes's memory is only a word away but in the end snake eyes bakckbites me and then says mean things about me. its really funny how you sometimes look at a person and think how well someone like snake eyes is treating you and after you realize that snake eyes lives in the edifice of a demon you look back at snake eyes again and realize it;s an illusion. but when you turn your back you hear from others how snake eyes spits on your reputation.

>snake eyes rant ends here<

oh well. its thursday and its 11:24 in the evening. we still have classes tomorrow but i stil dont know how it occured to me that anything i ever try to do to remove my anger towards snake eyes is...well....not working. maybe its a freakin curse.

like i said, "snake eyes" refers to a whole group of people who i desperately wanna point a knife at. dont worry, its not YET stab so they may have a chance to live. gaaaahd i feel terrible.

here's a poem (i sure hope you dont think its emo because its not. contemporary lang.zooon):

when all my misery is gone,
i want to sit on the couch and watch television.
and after falling asleep from
the lights of the television screen,
i will be reborn
and marry misery again.

distilled water

2007-01-20T00:56:00.001-08:00

i needed distilled water a while ago. i was so effing thirsty, after getting lost inside the school's premises; it's because of annie's stupid family day, which in the irony of the name itself, is not so family-esque. why? its because based on my observations, there wasn't anything very family-oriented there. it's the USI family day, and since it's an all-girls school, and it's a family day, and there are going to be people from outside, it certainly would be a noisy and busy school. its a very spacious school but when i went there all the space was gone.

i got bored eventually and continued reading memoirs of a geisha.

its funny really, i remembered this dream i once had and when i woke up i feel like i was in jetlag or something. i just dreamt of a girl looking in front of the mirror. and i assumed it was me, since after all, its my dream. well i dunno im too self-centered for me to know who it really was. it was a geisha, i think but the bed was not erm...well..it had a large cushion and very thick bed sheets. well i dont need to talk about that. and when i woke up, i almost didnt know who i was.

anyway, every saturday we go to mass now. its because of paolo's schedule. he should go back to legaspi by sunday, so we're now attending mass every saturday. i remember being unfamiliar with the word "sabadista" when i was in first year, since i also went to mass every saturday during those times.. now i wonder if its a religion...haha

well i should go now. i promised my mom, well not really promised. i told her i'll be going to the cathedral by 5:30, and it's already 5:39. i promised my grandmother that i'll go to mass for four weeks straight. its my "christmas gift" to her since i proclaimed myself a non-catholic spiritually because of my confused state of mind. well. at some point in our lives we ask ourselves if god really does exist, and right now i am trying to answer that.

but in the mean time, i have to go now. i'll write stuff soon. and they'll make sense. i hope.

im 15

2007-01-20T00:34:00.000-08:00

yea. im issa and i think it is necessary that i put my age as my first subject in my first formal post because one time someone told me that he thought i was older than my age. details are no longer necessary. here's an introduction:

as i said a while ago, i am issa. my classmate told me that in muslim, it's equivalent to jesus. but i think i said the wrong data because i vaguely remember what he told me word by word so i might be wrong. issa is my nickname, my longer name is isabella. i do not know why, maybe because im superbly stupid and proud at that time but i remember telling my childhood friend about reading the book of Revelation in the Bible and telling him that a Jezebel was going to ruin the world (to put it simply) and i kept on giving hints that i was the Jezebel and i scared the shit out of him. after that childhood friend because pervert friend two years after (and counting).

for a shorter introduction, i would be writing a couple of things about myself. well to start i am only 15 but i know i have a lot to say about myself for i certainly cannot describe myself in only one word. well i guess without typing "weird" two to five times, or the word's synonyms for that matter. i hardly recognize myself, except of course when i look at myself in front of the mirror looking like the same shitty self that i am. and thats another story that i'd be writing about soon.

anyway. heres what i do on a normal day:

i have insomnia so i barely sleep for ten hours straight. but i still wake up on school days at six in the morning, of course, my mom has to wake me up but occasionally when im too excited for school i get up myself. i go to the bathroom and wash gargle et cetera et cetera. when i get out i still look the same, but cleaner. right now i dont know how and why i am talking about my morning routine. well now i remember i was telling you about what i do on a normal day. well forget about that.

all of a sudden my mood changed. forget my introduction. heres what happened:

i was typing this entry and then the internet connection got cut off. i am on dial up right now so its a very big problem for me especially when im chatting with someone. it got cut off, and i got pissed off because i still had a lot more to type. i dont know, if it were to happen id be typing a very long entry about my self-centeredness but i really got pissed off more when sarah, my sister who's watching television right now, told me to get my ass off the chair because it's her turn to use the laptop so she could either get to her very important affairs, e-mail her godmother who's in the U.S., or do a research on her assignment in school (Friendster, Yahoo! Messenger, for short).

i found out that the problem why the internet connection got cut off: it was because there was no dial tone (error 680). the same problem happened to me before while surfing the net one night and it took a week before the connection got back. unlucky me.

speaking of unluckiness, i am unlucky. that is probably the reason why people don't hang around with me that much. i was born a klutz and it is a proven fact. go ask my friends about it. so far the clumsiest thing that i did and could remember right now was when one time i had to pay for the television i broke in my friend's house because it literally got smashed. and that happened only because i bent down just to pick something up. i often make things useless when i do the "bend and break." the most recent clumsy thing i did that i could remember right now was almost skating my way (on my black shoes) to my room. if someone actually videotaped it and sent it to some AFV copycat, the one who taped it would've had a thousand pesos right now. and if he videotaped my whole life, he would've gotten more than a billion.

that would be it for my first formal entry. im going to store it in a USB and then post it in blogger tomorrow when i go to netopia so everyone would have the chance of seeing it, but not actually read it.

by the way, the book that i am reading right now is memoirs of a geisha by arthur golden. they said he wrote fallacies here.

this was written on the 19th of DEcember but posted on the 20th

is this the end

2006-11-07T09:53:00.000-08:00

no.

tomorrow, it probably may be the end of the world for anyone.

here's my multiply account.

now i write here.

dont worry.

soon this will be the next.

soooon.

why i never get to write here:

lotsa accts
no time (half true)
costs a lotta kbps (nope.no dsl for me)
im not yet lucky
its not yet the end of the world
i havent been back in manila
no one will read this
whats the point of all these?